Episode Transcript
0:00
Welcome to the Fully Express podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I'm your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:04
And this is a show where we have conversations that invite you into your fullest express self and life, relationships and business.
0:11
We have a repeating guest coming back onto the podcast.
0:15
Her name is Samantha Hollingsworth.
0:17
For those that haven't had a chance to listen.
0:19
She did a beautiful episode talking about astrology and I did not do a good job of looking at what that podcast number was.
0:28
Do you remember what episode that was?
0:29
I don't remember either.
0:31
All right, y'all give me, give me one second in real time going to be looking this up.
0:36
Ok.
0:37
So episode number 34 that we launched on April 17th, we talked all about astrology and all was going on at the present moment.
0:45
And what I appreciated about that episode is that we didn't just talk about what was present in our planet at that time, which was so interesting to hear about at that time.
0:53
But it was also just the how to leverage astrology to being your full express self.
0:58
So if you haven't had a chance to listen to it, make sure you go back and check it out and give us a shout out or share with Sam how that was for you and if you enjoyed it and what stood out to you.
1:08
So for this month, August, for those that have been listening, I've been being a little bit more free flowing.
1:15
So we've had a lot of structure over the months, the last couple of months on the podcast.
1:19
And this month I wanted to be more fully expressed, more free flowing and just being with whatever is currently present with us or like in our world or in our lifetime.
1:29
And so today, we're going to have a really juicy conversation between Sam and I before we start, I'm going to pass it over to Sam so she can fully introduce herself for those that are new to listening to the episode.
1:40
Hello, I'm Samantha Hollingsworth and I am an astrologer and also a Goldsmith and jeweler and a fitness instructor and many, many things and just a lover of life and exploration and diving deep into all, all the most interesting and sometimes not interesting to Yeah, that's really what I love about you so much is that we could talk about such a wide range of conversations and topics.
2:07
She is a master jeweler as well as that was astrology and super deep into consciousness in this work and different topics.
2:14
And so, yeah, and she, I think Sam, I will just say you are just such a beautiful representation of the art of creativity and like as a creative, like being able to tap into these different parts of you in different ways, which I appreciate you so much.
2:30
Yeah, it's really interesting because growing up, I came from two very like book logical, like book smart, logical, like Capricorn parents, they're both Capricorns and they're both just like very in their body and like, matter of fact.
2:47
And so it took a really long time to own this part of myself.
2:50
I think I always, my whole life have been drawn to creativity and, and all different kinds of creativity.
2:55
But I think in the last five years or so, I've really recognize that that is such a huge part that defines me and embracing that and coming into the leadership around that.
3:06
And I feel like when you have parents that don't, you know, exude that it's really challenging, that's been a huge lesson for me to come into my into, into that aspect of me and that I have many interests and that's ok.
3:20
It's so OK.
3:21
I think, oh, this is such another topic.
3:23
I'm like, why do we talk about this?
3:25
I'm glad that you brought that up.
3:26
I think in this world today we're so guided towards, let's just choose one path.
3:32
What are you really, really good at or like you have to decide what are you going to do in this life?
3:36
What does that look like and I just know for sure, like in your journey and anyone that's listening, it's like giving yourself the permission to be like, I can be multidimensional and you're multidimensional and your creativity.
3:48
And I think we're just multidimensional as women and that is something so difficult to fully grasp or understand in a world that's so masculine.
3:58
Yeah, it's like finding, I think it's so important to hold the container because you can't just, I mean, women just love to flow naturally.
4:05
And so I feel like if I didn't create a container for myself, I'd just be here and here and here and here and here and there'd be no de no destination.
4:13
So I feel like you, we need that container.
4:15
But yeah, I think there is a beauty and I see more and more like you and, and so many of my friends coming out of their masculine myself included and really embracing more of this feminine flow and recognizing that you don't need to necessarily do it all, but you can pursue many things.
4:31
And I think also giving your permit yourself permission to be done with something like I think you, you know, at a point in your career decided you didn't want to do one on ones anymore.
4:40
And like being OK with that decision, even though you were so talented at it and so good at it and could have easily kept going.
4:47
You honored yourself and how you were feeling in that pull and I think more and more we're starting to do that as women versus just being like, let me help push through this.
4:56
Let me just keep going even though it wasn't like the ultimate calling for you anymore.
5:01
Right.
5:01
0 100% that even came up this last weekend.
5:04
So for those that don't know, I went to the Powerhouse Women Event in Arizona.
5:08
The Powerhouse Women event was created by Lindsay Schwartz.
5:11
I don't know if any of you guys know who that is.
5:13
But long story short, one of the things that was really hard for me to wrap my mind around over the last year was exactly what you just said.
5:19
Like I thought the way of being successful was this way, it had to be this way.
5:24
And it also sucked because in some ways, I was actually good at being doing it in this way.
5:29
So like for those that don't know, I love coaching, I loved coaching.
5:34
I still love coaching.
5:35
There's a part of me that really enjoys it.
5:37
But when I looked at the bigger picture of how I wanted to live my life or the way that I wanted to set up my business or what was really important.
5:43
Me coaching one on one was not going to help me one impact as big as I wanted to impact.
5:50
And then two also successfully scale my business in a way that honored my capacity, met me in the light that I want to create.
5:57
So, like I had to find another unique way of doing that and that art right there is like such a big decision that a lot of us one come up against because we're like, well, on one hand, this is really working for other people and for other people, it is the way that their lives are, right?
6:15
It meets them in every single way.
6:16
And as on the, on the other hand, it's like, well, what does it look like if I don't do it this way?
6:20
And I think that's what we're talking to here is like giving ourselves permission to be creative and flexible and adaptable to finding a way that does not work for you.
6:28
This is another really great example in business, like there are a million ways in one, in my opinion that you can scale your business, everyone is going to always sell you.
6:37
Like I have the framework that got me from 0 to $100,000 in six months.
6:42
And that's one framework, no one's talking about.
6:45
There's also five other frameworks.
6:47
And so if you aren't comfortable and trusting yourself to intuitively figure that out, that can feel very overwhelming.
6:53
And some of us really do need like the ape through Z structure.
6:57
But here we're talking so much to just giving yourself permission to be multidimensional and finding a way to make it work for you.
7:03
Yeah.
7:03
And I think to finding what do you want to, you know, like in terms of how you want to, you know, live your life or what's most important, I think too.
7:11
We, you know, we talked a little about this, I think in our previous episode, but we are moving into a time where it's really about slowing down and coming together and working together and coming into our Dharma with other people instead of just like being it about ourselves.
7:26
And I think you can see this like slow shift from this capitalist society that really has not served us.
7:33
Now, at the point, we're at into more of community and collective and helping one another and coming together and it's a slow transition.
7:41
But I feel like this is just a perfect example of that.
7:44
And it's so interesting because I know we've had this conversation and so many of our friends have had the conversation of feeling burnt out.
7:50
And I know that's your area of expertise.
7:52
So if anyone can speak to it, it's you for sure.
7:54
But I think it's interesting that we're all starting to realize that we can't keep pushing in our masculine, the way that we did.
8:01
And even my friends who were excellent at doing that before are, and I'm sure you could say the same are really struggling with that.
8:08
I think we're all reaching burnout.
8:10
It's like the perfect time for you to come around because it's, yeah, it's just interesting to witness a huge transition.
8:18
Yeah.
8:18
It's a and I think it's a necessary transition.
8:21
I think we're just like waking up, but I think burning and listening is just like knowing that you have other options.
8:26
So often, we only think we only have one option or one way.
8:29
And we're talking to like there's multiple ways of doing this without feeling exhausted, without burning out, without being tired, feeling connected and deeply fully expressed in your own way.
8:39
Like there, there is that magic and available to you.
8:43
Something I do love about social media too to speak to that is like, I feel like it's opened my eyes to see how many different people are out there successful and living their life on their terms, whatever success means to them.
8:55
And that even includes like the stay at home moms, like any like people are just really coming into who they are and sharing that.
9:01
And it was, that's the part of social media I really love.
9:04
It's like being able to see, oh, look at all the options available to us, look at all the myriad of ways that people are finding their, their, their success.
9:12
Like it's, I don't know, I see it as such an amazing opportunity that they're even in the jewelry world.
9:17
Like there's a million different jewelry brands doing their own thing and selling their jewelry their way.
9:22
And that's, you know, just a very surfa example.
9:24
But I do feel like more and more.
9:27
We're just seeing so many people come into their truth and onto that path which I love so, so much.
9:32
I 100% agree with that.
9:34
So, something that I took away from one of the panel discussions at Powerhouse woman was talking to just this, it was the wealth panel and it was Patricia Washington, Katherine Zing, Zing Zing and Laurie harder.
9:47
Sorry.
9:48
Is Catherine is the cosmetic.
9:50
No, that's Jamie Lima.
9:52
So Catherine is manifestation babe.
9:54
Which Yes.
9:55
Yeah.
9:55
I don't know if you've heard of her.
9:56
Yeah.
9:56
And something that she talked about so beautifully.
9:58
She's like we're talking about money and success and wealth right now, right?
10:02
So she talked about wealth being currency and how wealth is energy.
10:05
And she's like when you really sit back and look around the world, if you take a minute to think about you put yourself in like a city, there's so much money moving from the city to the building.
10:15
So the company to the person, to the restaurant, to the food truck person that's collecting money and money is moving in that way.
10:22
And she said, which I love that.
10:25
She said that she's like just because I make more money.
10:28
That doesn't mean I'm taking away from Laurie Harder or from Patricia Washington or from you Sam, like no, there's enough money to abundantly go like it's not just I'm taking away or getting that.
10:38
We're talking about, there is an abundance amount of wealth available to us and we all get a piece of that pie.
10:43
That's the same way as like as we're talking to success and business.
10:47
Even at the powerhouse women event, there was 800 women there.
10:50
And so cool.
10:52
I want to say 300 of them were coaches, 100 of them were real estate agents, you know.
10:58
So we're talking about like really big numbers and it's so easy to look at one.
11:02
Well, there's a lot of people in my niche that can be intimidating.
11:05
And if you look at it from a place of ego, you're like, oh, there's not enough space for me.
11:09
That's not what we're talking about.
11:10
If anything, it just validates that there is space for you because it's a need and a different way of doing it, you know, and you, we all have our own unique signature, like our own unique blueprint that came here to share a message or multiple messages.
11:26
And I feel like we're here to embody that.
11:29
And there, there is, I think that the problem is society has programmed us with this lack mentality with this scarcity mentality, but there's an abundance, there's an abundance of all things.
11:41
And it's interesting because I listened to this podcast a while like quite a while ago, but I was talking about resources and are we running low on resources on the planet or is that like a, you know, like a scarcity mindset kind of creation and something this podcast was, or this interviewer was talking about who was like, very knowledgeable on this subject was talking about, you know, water.
12:05
Like a lot of people love to say we're running out of fresh water.
12:08
But that actually under the earth, there's, there's hundreds of miles of water beneath the surface that we haven't even tapped into yet.
12:16
There's desalinization of the ocean, There's all these options right to and something they pointed out was like we just collect in these cities.
12:23
So we we kind of come together in these cities and overtake these certain small pockets of land.
12:29
But when you look at the earth of us as a whole, there, there are lots of resources still.
12:33
And so again, it was like speaking more to that scarcity mindset of, there's not enough, but it's that we're hoarding like a small amount in certain areas, but that there is plenty for us.
12:42
And I think that is like a perfect example of wealth or even opportunity.
12:45
Like you could look and say, oh there's a jewelers or a lot of coaches or a lot of this.
12:49
But when you step back, there's so many people in need of those products still are in need of those services.
12:55
Like there's way more people who don't have that skill set than do.
12:59
But social media also throws, throws you and shows you more of what you look at So if you're only looking at your niche, of course, you're only going to see your niche and then you think it's over, over, you know, saturated and there's not space for you.
13:12
And I think, yeah, going to those events and hearing other people speak is so beautiful because it really does open your mind to the fact that there is so much like, there's way more people who need you and need your messages than you know, don't totally, I agree with that.
13:29
So let's transition a little bit to like to that, like just like wanting to share your message and why it's so important.
13:34
So just before Sam and I hit record, I was telling her something that's been resonating a lot with like social media and like the importance of showing up on social media is the importance of our voice and our opinions and our thoughts and as leaders, as someone that is stepping into like wanting more for yourself, really bringing yourself into your life, relationships and business.
13:57
It requires you to own your opinion, to share petty subjects to lead in places that other people don't know how to lead.
14:06
But it's like taking this set to want to lead.
14:09
And so we can look at this through so many different phases.
14:12
But like for social media, for example, I've been recreating my relationship to social media and I realize that social media touches so many people and their perspective of things and if I have a unique perspective that could be valuable to some person, by me being, being scared to not share, I'm in some way doing that human who impacts the collective a disservice.
14:36
And if I want to create change as a leader, if I see that there's a better way or a different way to think about it, it takes the courage and the bravery to show up in owning that.
14:46
Yeah, absolutely.
14:48
I agree 100%.
14:49
I think, I think it's easier to let the fear take over because we're so afraid to receive criticism.
14:56
And I think we're not really, most of us, I would say, or many of us in the Western world are not really like trained or taught how to handle negative emotions, how to handle criticism, how to handle feedback, even if it's not positive.
15:09
And so I think then we tend to shy away and we tend to avoid certain confrontations.
15:17
You know, this is something I think both you and I have worked through for sure.
15:21
Me, like I'm such a confrontation avoider and there's so often times like I have a strong opinion about something, but I'm a, I wouldn't say even afraid sometimes but just hesitant to share it because I'm so concerned with how other people will receive it.
15:34
But I think when you do come from that ultimate truth and you're speaking from your intuition, it's, it's not most likely it's not going to be received as poorly as you think, or as detrimental as you speak.
15:46
And even if it is, then maybe someone needed to hear that because I feel like we're all just mirrors for one another.
15:51
And so, you know, if someone is triggered by you or even if you're triggered by someone, that's just, I always ask myself in those moments, well, why is that person triggering me?
15:59
What do I need to see about myself?
16:01
What is it showing me that I haven't worked through yet?
16:03
And so I think the more we can reflect in that way, the more or the less afraid we are to actually speak our truth and stand in our, in our leader leadership abilities totally.
16:13
And I think that's also an opportunity for growth and awareness, right?
16:17
So as someone who was avoid avoided confrontation, everyone here knows that I was definitely people pleasing tendencies was so scared to share.
16:25
So that's what Sam and I have.
16:26
It have so much in common and hence the podcast too, right?
16:30
It's like really talking to women that are wanting to be fully expressed.
16:34
And so it's owning this part of what you're talking to is like, how do I own my opinion?
16:39
And no, that not everyone's going to understand or agree to, right?
16:42
It's value or be ready to hear depending on where they're at in their journey.
16:47
And so what I agree to is like, we can't manage someone else's responses and two, I think as a leader, it's also amazing for us to lead with our opinions and thoughts and perspectives and be open to hearing where someone else is in their journey and seeing their perspective.
17:04
And so if we can actually see it more as feedback versus criticism or as information versus something bad, I don't know.
17:13
Yeah.
17:13
Yeah.
17:15
Yeah.
17:15
Wanting to share versus needing to be right, wanting to, to help, you know, and like try to aid and because we're helpers like you and I both are natural helpers.
17:25
We want people, we're like ultimate cheerleaders for women.
17:29
Like we want to see people live their highest potential and that's a gift.
17:33
But also it's like always coming from a place of love versus a critical, you know, eye or, or trying to bring someone down like it's just coming from a place of love and they're either ready to receive it or not.
17:44
But yeah.
17:46
And so it really, yeah, I'm with you and so I guess I would love to hear Sam and I can share my perspective too.
17:52
How have you been able to work through really leaning in by helping and like saying like I see you see this but can I share with you this?
18:02
What does that, what does that journey look like for you?
18:04
Yeah, I mean, I'm not going to lie.
18:06
I think you're way more skilled at it than I am.
18:11
No, I think you do great ok for anyone that's listening.
18:13
If you're in the room with Sam, like you're telling her something like you do lean into sharing your opinion.
18:19
I think you do that beautifully.
18:21
No.
18:21
OK.
18:21
Thank you.
18:22
No, I do.
18:23
But I, I feel like you're really good at navigating the conversation better than me per S e like the way you approach certain questions.
18:30
Like I just, I really love listening to you sometimes even when I'm just an observer in a conversation because I, I just, you're so skilled at asking certain questions.
18:39
I like not to say, I don't ask them.
18:40
I just, I just approach it differently.
18:42
I don't know, I just love the way you're able to navigate difficult conversations.
18:46
Like it's really a skill and I learned a lot just listening to you.
18:49
But I think personally for me, I realized and we had talked, we've talked about this before, but I realized that I craved really deep loving friendships.
19:02
I grew up with a mom.
19:03
You know, I don't have a great relationship with my mom.
19:05
It's good now, but she's not the most maternal person.
19:10
So I really struggled with women my whole life.
19:12
I think I was searching for that love, that motherly love and friendships.
19:15
But I wasn't, I was not vulnerable.
19:18
So I was always the one holding the space.
19:20
I was always the one listening.
19:21
I was always the one showing up.
19:23
And I realized, you know, later in my probably like mid twenties, maybe even late twenties, like even recently into some capacity that I didn't trust these women enough to open up and share myself.
19:36
And so then I could never get to that deeper level with people that I wanted to.
19:40
Like, I couldn't get past because I wasn't willing to be vulnerable.
19:43
So I think that even though I was really good at listening and sharing the space and people shared plenty with me, like people were vulnerable.
19:50
I felt like I was not feeling the match or feeling the connection.
19:54
Let me just stop there.
19:55
If anyone's, it's like I have felt this over and over in my entire life.
19:59
I'm like I can hold these spaces for you, I can hold you.
20:02
And people would tell me things that I just wasn't even prepared or asking for.
20:07
You know, they just open up to you, which I think you can relate to, right?
20:10
They just start telling you their whole life story, their pains, their wounds, what they're feeling.
20:14
And I loved that.
20:16
I really did love that and I never knew how to be met in that.
20:21
And that's what you're talking about right now.
20:23
And like, I'm not gonna lie, it feeds your ego a little bit like it does, it makes you feel good and you're like, I can hold all this space.
20:30
This is awesome.
20:30
Like look how, how powerful I am and how, how loving I am.
20:34
It was just like, and not even in like, I mean, I don't think you could be egoic if you tried or like, I feel like I have felt, it feels good.
20:45
It totally feels good that someone trusts me to lean in on me.
20:48
You know, it is definitely, it feels good.
20:51
I remember when I, once I peeled this back from myself, it was more of a, I was doing it out of their love.
20:58
I was like, well, if I can hold the space for you, if I can be the safe space for you, if I, if you, if you tell me everything, there's like a high chance you won't leave me.
21:07
Yeah, a 100%.
21:08
Like if I am your, your comfort, your blanket that you need on hard times, then I know you're not going to leave me like that.
21:17
That was a really big realization for me years ago.
21:20
I was like, fuck I am doing that.
21:22
And it was my way of attachment, my way of holding on to people by leveraging my, my kindness, my sweetness, the space that I hold.
21:31
Yeah, 100%.
21:33
And I think that when I realized that and I'm sure like you're saying same situation it you, you realize like you hit a burnout wall like you hit a wall where you're just like, I don't feel, I feel so alone.
21:46
I feel so alone.
21:47
And it started actually with my now husband when we met, I felt seen for the very first time in my whole life by somebody which is really sweet.
21:56
Yeah.
21:56
But also, I mean, really, it's like this is not ok, like, I don't, how do I not have women in my life that I can feel fully seen by?
22:02
And even my friends that I, I mean, now I'm closer with them.
22:05
I am closer with them now than I was then.
22:07
Even though I've had, I have a couple of friends that I've known for over 10 years.
22:10
But it wasn't until I came to this realization that I opened myself up to them.
22:14
And the thing was, that was so beautiful.
22:16
And I'd be curious, what your experience was it like, I was received more than I thought I could be.
22:21
And then I started, you know, when my husband really opened, like, allowed me to open to him, I was able to then be like, oh, I can be, I can trust I can, I can actually open deeper.
22:31
Maybe I can do this with women too.
22:33
And then I told him I lost a group of friends.
22:35
And I told him I really want these deep female friendships.
22:39
Like I want soul sisters.
22:40
Like I've craved this my whole life.
22:42
And that's when it started, you know, I attracted you, I attracted some of our other mutual friends.
22:47
And even with the two friends I've had for over 10 years, like we became closer, we got deeper because I allowed myself to not be perfect.
22:56
I allowed myself to be flawed and I shared those flaws and it was terrifying in the beginning.
23:02
But the more I was received and the more I was met, the deeper the friendship got to be and felt so, feel so much more rewarding.
23:10
And it's incredible to have that community and the friendships that I, you know, been able to cultivate because of that.
23:16
I'm with you.
23:17
I think, yeah, one thing I think that's important to note in that because I went through a very similar experience was the willingness to not be received.
23:25
Because I think especially when you're going through this, this, this healing process or this part of the journey of like really leaning in from people pleaser to give her to receiver and fully express is being ok if you're not received.
23:39
And I think that starts by us loving ourselves so fully and being like, all right, if I say this thing and it's not received, it's OK.
23:48
I still love me.
23:49
But in relationship that is probably the most healing thing that we can do.
23:53
It sounds like you did it with Austin, your husband and I've received this too with Nick.
23:57
That's where I think relationships are even more healing.
23:59
It's like, fuck, I love me.
24:02
And now I'm like, I'm receiving someone else's love for seeing me in that.
24:06
And that's like a double down on transformation that gives our system our bodies, the opportunity again to trust ourselves, but also feel safe in sharing in opening up opinions in bringing ourselves forward.
24:18
But it does take a willingness to be like, well, whether they receive me or not, I'm still good or whether they receive me or not.
24:25
I'm still loved whether they understand me or not.
24:28
I'm still loves because I will say this as people pleasers and you start to or even just people pleasers as anyone that has not been bringing themselves forward, you're going to kind of test the market.
24:38
You're going to say, hey, I'm gonna, I'm gonna share this in this moment and parts of you might expect them to respond in a certain way and then they don't.
24:47
Yeah, because you're also craving safety in expecting them to respond a certain way because they're like, if they respond in this way that I'm good.
24:55
And so there's this part of you that and then on the other, I will also say there's also this other part of you that is kind of like screaming at like, oh, this person doesn't understand that.
25:05
I haven't spoken my truth for the last 2530 years.
25:08
And they don't realize that this is the first time that I'm sharing my voice and they don't get it.
25:14
And there's like this inner justice about you that's also saying like, you should know that this is my first time being honest.
25:21
Yeah, a lot of pressure though.
25:23
Even on the other person, but the other person doesn't even know that that's your experience.
25:28
Yeah.
25:28
I mean, even reflecting, like just listening to you say, that makes me realize that friend group that I lost, OK, I would say it was more of a superficial friendship because I wasn't really expressing myself.
25:41
And then when I did start to express more of myself of some of the women in the group didn't love that, you know, at one in particular and who I was the one that was like, brought in, who brought me into this group of friends.
25:52
And it just made me realize like exactly what you said, I remember Austin saying to me like these just aren't your people and it's OK like you're sharing yourself and you're not on the same frequency anymore.
26:02
And that's OK.
26:03
And I think it was like, I was good being the space holder and just being on the superficial level.
26:07
But when I started to open up more, I couldn't and it's nothing against them.
26:11
We just couldn't find common ground, we couldn't relate.
26:14
And I think hearing you say what you just did and then reflect.
26:17
It's like, oh yeah, it really is nothing against them or me, it just wasn't a vibrational match.
26:23
And when I became vulnerable, I started to really attract people that were at the same capacity and could have that the difficult conversations and hold me in all that I am.
26:33
And you know, like I'm not perfect and maybe that was my fault too.
26:36
Right, of like, displaying this, I'm kind of perfect person because I never shared when I was having a hard time, I never shared when I was, you know, feeling down or vulnerable because I had this inner responsibility of like, well, I could never put that on someone else, you know, like I'll never put my pain on somebody else that's not their burden to bear.
26:55
And when you're like that, it makes it really hard because, yeah, like now I voiced out you or my friends, I'm like, I'm having a terrible day, you know, and I never would have done that before.
27:04
I just would have self processed and, but I realized in doing that it's not like it's not necessarily complaining to you.
27:10
It's just, it's connecting, you know, and realizing that we're going to have down days like it's ok you don't have, there's no perfect, you know, and it's ok to be that and the more you can be, the more human you are, the more you can go deeper in your friendships with people and you even your partnership especially too.
27:25
But, you know, with women, I feel like we're, we're sometimes like, compete, competed against each other or pitted against each other.
27:32
And, you know, going to, I'm sure going to the powerhouse women events and just seeing so many women coming together, you realize, like we all crave that as women, you know, women are different than men, they think different than men.
27:42
They need different things than men.
27:43
And I feel like I never realized that until I found these friendships and it made me understand that, you know, we, we need to connect with other women.
27:52
Like we, like, you know, men aren't going to get your period ups and down and your woes, you know, like all the things they can try.
28:01
They do try.
28:02
Yeah, I seen some really hilarious videos.
28:04
Have you seen any of those videos where they put the period pain monitor on the men?
28:08
And then, oh, I have seen that and they don't get it.
28:10
It's hilarious.
28:12
, something I want to bring up in this conversation of, I guess we've transitioned into like bringing all of you and being with your messiness from like nervous system standpoint or from like a parts work standpoint when I think about this by us living in our own experiences and trying to hold together the heart of the messiness, the amount of tension and stress that we're putting on our bodies because we do not feel safe to express ourselves can cause more harm than good that I want people to listen to.
28:43
The other thing too is, is like when we learn to be able to invite our friendships, our people or whatever into that messy experience with us, we can actually read that.
28:55
So our nervous system is not tied up.
28:58
Our nervous system is saying like, oh, I can express myself and I can breathe and I can be seen the art in doing that comes from a place of not trying to have all the answers.
29:10
For example, like I think sometimes we package up our, our messy experiences and like, well, now I can deliver it to you because I have made sense of what the fuck is going on with me.
29:19
I mean, who else hasn't done that before?
29:21
We're like, I've had an experience over the last two weeks and now I can share it because my logical brain can say like, oh, this is why I'm experiencing this.
29:29
But I think the art to what we're talking about, yes, share those experiences.
29:33
And if we can find those relationships in those situations where we can actually bring someone in the messiness before you've packaged it up perfectly.
29:41
And you've understood why you've been going through those things and you have answers.
29:46
It's going to be so much more calming on your nervous system and actually give you so much more clarity.
29:50
The way I like to look at it is like when we are controlling our situation or trying to protect ourselves, we are basically creating this extra lining of stress and like gray fog in our perspective.
30:03
And if we can find ways to break through the fog and see more sunlight by letting people into the fog with us, we'll be able to move things so much faster.
30:12
And a you're not going to have as much stress on your body with stress is one of the number one causes for illnesses.
30:18
I think there's some crazy number about how many women have autoimmune disorders by not by not speaking like the conversion to like women to men.
30:27
I'm going to find this number so we can talk about it again on the podcast, but we're just experiencing so much illness.
30:32
And I think a lot of it does come from us not speaking up or not being honest about the different parts of us or letting people into our messy experiences, which is what we're chatting about right now.
30:41
Yeah.
30:41
And I think it relates to, to like, I don't know, you know, if everyone feels this way, but I think there's always a part of us is and maybe it's programming right from our parents, from our lineage of like, be a good girl.
30:53
Like, don't speak too loud, don't say too much, you know, and I think that there's a fear of, of again, like you said, that vulnerability, that abandonment wound of like, oh, well, if I just hold the space and I don't put myself on you, you'll just stay and you'll never leave and it's ok.
31:08
And something that has come with expressing myself more too has led to situations with women where I've had to really work on my communication.
31:17
And, you know, and I think when you're constantly holding the space or you're not fully showing up in all of you, it's a lot easier to avoid that discomfort and those situations.
31:27
But it's made me a better communicator and it's helped me to understand communication styles.
31:32
I never would have maybe even come across because I never went to that length because I was an avoider and I would just be like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
31:41
It's, you know, and that it was done.
31:43
And I feel that because I've had to be in those situations.
31:47
It also makes you a better person, a better communicator, less stressed as you said.
31:51
And you realize like, yeah, we're all messy.
31:54
There's no, like we're all messy.
31:56
We in our beds over here, you know, the one thing that I have shared on this, on the podcast multiple times and something that I've sat with for years.
32:03
So I was like, so interesting to witness as human beings.
32:06
We talk about all these like surface things.
32:08
I have a home, I have a dog, I have, I'm married or I went to this restaurant and like, maybe I've never been to that restaurant or I've never been to the, I don't have a home or maybe I don't have a car, the same kind of car.
32:21
So we talk about all these like surface level things which in some most situations sometimes are not necessarily common.
32:27
Like I don't also have that.
32:29
The number one most common thing as human beings that we have are feelings, emotions and thoughts.
32:34
And it's the last thing we talk about, we talk about until we feel safe to you, which I understand the importance of wanting to feel safe.
32:40
But it is the one thing that every single human being on this earth, there is not one person that not even Jesus when he came to this world and you want to think about it that way, like did not have those thoughts.
32:50
They had sadness, they had anger, they had frustration.
32:54
We all are experiencing those things.
32:56
And so really creating the opportunity to do that.
32:59
I want to transition a little bit into what are the gifts that come from owning your opinion and your voice as a leader.
33:08
How do you feel as leaders?
33:10
Like what comes up?
33:11
What kind of gifts do we receive in that?
33:14
I think one of the greatest gifts is when someone receives what you're saying and gives you positive feedback to that.
33:21
I personally feel like we share a similar gift.
33:24
Like I mentioned earlier being cheerleaders.
33:26
I feel like we're so good at seeing the potential in people and really even one of my friends yesterday or the day before texted me and was like, you're just so positive to be around.
33:34
Like you're so like, you just make me feel like I can do anything that's like the ultimate ultimate compliment.
33:40
I would never want anything else to be said.
33:42
You know, because I just think like, we all need a cheerleader and I don't know if it's because I didn't really have it growing up or I just feel like I see the best in everybody and I want to help people cultivate that.
33:54
So I think for me, one of the ultimate gifts is just someone receiving that and being seen in the present moment and realizing like, oh there that because at the end of the day, I really believe that the only thing that ever stops us is ourselves, the only thing that ever holds us back is our own self and our minds and the mind can do wild things.
34:14
It can, it can take us on a whole quest, a journey off the bat before we come back on.
34:20
So to me, I think that's one of the biggest gifts.
34:23
And I also think just like a true confidence in who you are and just being able to stand in your truth and stand in who you are.
34:32
And that's not to say like, I don't have moments where I feel, you know, doubt creeping or should I have said that or anything?
34:40
But then I just go, nope, it was meant to be said or it wouldn't have come out of my mouth.
34:43
And that's how I try to operate from.
34:45
And I'm also careful about what I say at times like I'm not just trying to speak all the time.
34:49
And you know, without thinking about how this is going to affect other people.
34:53
But I think the greatest gift is watching people step into their power.
34:56
That's probably like my, if I had one thing that I take away from being able to speak truth and hold that be that role model or hold that energy for other people.
35:07
What about you?
35:08
What do you feel like?
35:10
I think selfishly there is like a there is this like beauty to allowing the voices within, within me to be expressed.
35:18
I think as someone who has held back.
35:21
Yeah, I mean, but you know, like it's, it is not selfish but I mean, it's like it's such a beautiful gift to myself for as someone who has always gave to everyone else or every always created this stage for everyone else to be heard.
35:34
I think it's a beautiful opportunity for me to be heard.
35:38
And because I have the skill sets of creating stages for other people, I'm also like, now I get to create the stages for you to be successful and powerful and hold you up and see you while also being on my own stage next to you.
35:52
Yeah.
35:52
And it creates that level of abundance of like there's more for so many of us.
35:57
I think that's one of the big things and also I think the gift of practice.
36:00
So one thing if you're trying to, you you are stepping into this, like, more leadership role and really stepping into using your voice and sharing your opinions and your thoughts.
36:10
You're really gonna formulate your opinions by saying it.
36:14
I think sometimes we're like, oh, I have to find the right way to package it or say it before I even start saying it or I have to get my thoughts down.
36:22
But you kind of need to practice before they go play the big game.
36:26
You know, like, look at all these athletes, they, they play in the NFL, they play in the NBA, they play in their professional games, they're showing up to practice the same way.
36:36
They're not showing up to the game without going to practice.
36:39
And so we need stages like social media, like our friendships and our relationships to practice that, sharing your opinion, your role and seeing people and lifting them up in those day to day.
36:52
So then when you are on bigger stages, you get to own that.
36:56
So I think that's one of the gifts that you get is just like feeling more practice in your voice and in your opinion and through that practice, you might hit up some hiccups, right?
37:06
Maybe someone doesn't respond well or they're like, hey, I don't agree with your opinion.
37:09
Let me show you something else and it's just the practice of learning to be open to other people's opinions.
37:15
Yeah.
37:16
But I mean, I feel like one of the gifts that comes from being a listener is you really like, I definitely, in my early twenties was a know it all.
37:23
Like I will say that hands down, I knew everything I was right and I needed to be right.
37:28
I needed to be right in everything I said.
37:31
And as I started reflecting on that and observing and listening more and more and more and talk and maybe talking less for a while too.
37:39
But really holding that space, I'm like, oh, I only can come from my own perspective.
37:43
There's a lot, I don't know.
37:44
in fact, the more I learn, the less I know sometimes.
37:47
And so I feel like that's also a gift is in knowing that you can channel this wisdom and you can have this wisdom.
37:53
But it's also about knowing that everyone's going to receive it differently and everyone's coming from their own unique perspective.
38:00
And so that's where it goes back to what we were talking about earlier, which is like, it's, it's speaking from a place of trust and intuition and knowing versus needing to be right?
38:09
And it just got different message.
38:10
Like it's like when you, when you hear certain people talk, they just want to be right?
38:14
It's kind of aggressive and combative versus like let me share this knowledge because I'm passionate about it and I believe in it and it, and it resonates, you know, with me and then, yeah, they either maybe not everyone receives it.
38:26
But I feel like when you listen and then maybe you can attest to this like a powerhouse women.
38:30
When you listen to someone coming from a place of conviction and their story and you know, their experience, you're just, you're not really sitting there thinking that's wrong.
38:39
You're just like, whoa, what a crazy, cool, you know, life or experience or a story.
38:45
And I think that is something that comes like from practice and listening and you know, less about being right and more about coming from your, your truth and your Dharma and your passion.
38:55
Totally.
38:56
Now, I think that just came up as you're talking about that is like we're gonna go through seasons and I think we all have to give ourselves grace as leaders to be through those seasons.
39:05
You know, I can definitely resonate from being the leader of like, I don't know anything to like, I know everything to like now, I know nothing but I'm gonna keep talking, you know, and no matter where you are on this like leadership season or leadership journey, I think the biggest thing I want for those listeners to hear is like practice, sharing your opinion, even if it's wrong, even if there is no right or wrong.
39:30
I think that's like the other thing, the way that I view right or wrong, I think we try and look at right or wrong as a way to keep great safety in our world.
39:36
And like if we, if there is a right or a wrong, then there's something that art yo is to justify.
39:41
It's just to be like, oh, here's the fine line.
39:44
I can't cross that line versus what if everything neutral.
39:47
And if we showed up to how we share things as neutral because in neutrality, yeah, there is a sense of conviction but it can also be open.
39:57
It's kind of like in that neutrality is like, I'm sharing this because this is what I know.
40:02
And I think what I have, I'll take this back to just being in our world when we're talking about the resources thing.
40:09
There's a lot more people out there that just don't know.
40:13
And I feel like if you are anything like Sam and I, we've talked about this, I feel like I'm in a bubble sometimes where the kind of information that I know honestly on a broader scale, I just feel like our world doesn't know.
40:25
I'm like a blimp on that scale, but sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in, like, everyone in my bubble knows this.
40:32
That even happened to me at the powerhouse.
40:34
Even I heard some older women talking about just like being a mom and all these things and having this perspective on something.
40:42
And I was like,, I just want them to know there's another way and they're so successful in what they do and they know their subjects really well, and I was like,, I just, and I, I want to share with them that is another way.
40:55
And I could easily get in the practice of like, well, this person has like 300,000 followers, 500,000 followers.
41:01
They have a very successful business.
41:03
They know everything but they don't.
41:05
Yeah.
41:06
And it's ok that they don't, I also don't know everything.
41:08
So I'm like, you share me with me something I don't want but we kind of had to take that step to wanting to share.
41:13
Yeah, I feel like a full circle to, to what you said towards the beginning of our talk too is like we all have to find what's right for us and like be our own leaders because I mean, when you were saying that about just like all these subjects and there's so much information out there and, you know, one thing could be right for someone and not for someone else.
41:30
It's like if you google eggs, you know things about eggs, like one article will say eggs give you cancer, eggs, give you high cholesterol.
41:37
Eggs are amazing for you.
41:38
Eggs have every vitamin and mineral you could need.
41:41
You know, like, and that's true of like, I swear every subject, every subject leads to either death or it's the best thing ever.
41:46
You know.
41:47
And I think it goes back to this time period where as I feel and I could be wrong in this but I kind of come to this sort of conclusion that leaders are shifting from being more of like the age of gurus and people leading in that perspective is kind of dead.
42:05
I feel like it's leading by example, in showing what it looks like to be embodied in your own personal truth.
42:12
And when you're in that place, you're holding the mirror for someone so that they can be embodied in their truth instead of before.
42:20
It was like, well, follow me, follow my way, you know, and it's like the vegan, I just use food because it's such an easy example.
42:25
But like the vegan diet, the protein diet, the meat diet, you know, the no carbohydrates, the cabbage soup, whatever.
42:31
And now it's recognizing we are also biodiverse and different.
42:35
And so it's more about, well, Krya standing in her truth as her own leader and what does that look like?
42:41
And wow, what does that feel like to be so embodied in who you are that you can just show up as your whole self versus me trying to be you or be like you.
42:51
And I think that's where the big shift is happening and people are going.
42:55
It's even what you said in the beginning about powerhouse women like you're going and you're so inspired by these women, but you're not going being like, I want to be manifestation, babe, you're now going like, how can I show up as my greatest bo Yeah, I like feel like we should just include there.
43:09
Ok.
43:09
Mic drop done.
43:11
Just kidding.
43:13
But I love everything that you said, I think.
43:16
Yeah, I just feel like that's like the perfect boat at the end.
43:18
It's like at the end of this, it's like one take away be your own self leader, you know, at the end of the day, you got to find a way to lead in your life and make those decisions for yourself.
43:27
But it's in the practice so you can create that level of trust within yourself to be able to lead yourself and then in leading yourself, you can lead others.
43:35
The one thing I will love to talk about, maybe we can talk about this on another episode, but is when you are in this leadership role, it's very interesting to lead people even though they don't get it.
43:47
So this happens a lot with like organizations or really big teams or even like athletic teams, you know, the coach is telling you to go in a certain direction and as a player, like we're like, what the fuck coach I don't understand.
43:59
And so no matter what, there could be a chance that you get backlash as you step into your leadership positions and it's not the backlash, it's just like they might not see the vision that you see.
44:11
Have you personally experienced that in your work that you've done?
44:15
Like, I'm curious because you've been in more of those environments than I have.
44:19
No, but I've witnessed it so like, as I think I'm so for those that know I am so in corporate, so in the corporate environment, like I have definitely witnessed leaders take us in a direction where I'm also like, what the fuck, why are we going in that direction?
44:34
Why are you selling it from that perspective?
44:35
Why are you talking about it from this way?
44:38
And I've seen them get a lot of backlash and then like a year or two later or even five years down the line, we're like, oh you are always right.
44:48
And so there is this like special need, this special conversation for us to talk about as like as visionaries, as leaders, as women who want more for themselves is also being OK and holding a vision that people don't know, I will say I did feel this a lot with like my friend group, for example.
45:08
So in my friend group, I, I was probably one of the first ones to like really lean into personal development and like really go down the sexual or not sexuality and my sexuality, my conscious space and like finding myself in all ways.
45:24
And so I was open to plant medicine journeys.
45:27
Like if I talk to those, if I talk about those things to some friends in my past life, they'd be like, what the fuck kind of, you're crazy, you know.
45:34
So in some ways I did kind of, I was ahead of the game in some of my friendship groups, even which I think some people can relate to.
45:42
And now I'm witnessing them kind of catch up in wanting this and wanting to grow and to dive into divine connection with consciousness and God and spirituality and the connection to their bodies.
45:56
And there's nothing wrong with their, where they were at in their journey.
45:59
But I knew I had to self lead while also holding the vision for the kinds of clients that I was calling in.
46:06
So through my work as a coach for a long time, like I said, you guys are living here, I can take you here.
46:12
And so I had to kind of hold and say this is what's possible for you and you're here and I've witnessed women over and over and over again, find new ways of themselves that they didn't even know was possible.
46:24
But I had to hold that vision and they might have been like, wait CRE I don't really believe you, not all parts of me, but there was this part of them that was like, I think there's something there.
46:34
And so as visionaries ad leaders, you're going to run into the people that don't get it.
46:39
And then there's going to be the people that are like, I think you're on to something I'm kind of curious and they're going to follow and then the people that don't get it.
46:46
They're eventually going to come, but it's so easy to get caught up in.
46:49
Why aren't they not coming with me?
46:51
Why don't they understand?
46:52
Why don't they want this yet?
46:54
And then you can start to second guess your leadership and your vision.
46:57
I feel like this could be an entirely conversation because there is a journey of consciousness that we, some of us go on and or I would go, I would call it the journey into deeper awareness of self is a very lonely journey.
47:15
And there is a, there is a loss in there of certain connections and, and things like that.
47:21
I feel like it's its own conversation, but it's so true that, you know, you have to be willing.
47:26
I remember one time you had shared in our conversation like this fear you had of no one coming with you to the top in a sense.
47:34
And I think that's so relatable because we get comfortable where we are in certain areas of our life and especially in friendships, like when it's so good and you don't want it to change.
47:43
And, and I feel like that is just such a good example of the path to higher consciousness or to awareness or into the journey of self of, you know, like the change is inevitable and people do fall away and sometimes they come back again and after they've gone on their own journey.
48:00
But it is a lonely I think that is something that's not talked about quite as much is that the path to, you know, whether you call it enlightenment or self awareness or a deeper understanding of who you are inside a connection to divine source.
48:15
It is this kind of alone journey, even if you have a partner that's going along with you, it's still alone.
48:21
And then on the other side, you find greater connection because you found greater connection to yourself.
48:26
And I think that speaks again, that's very equivalent to even leadership.
48:30
You know, you go, when you decide to be a leader, when you decide to be a leader in whatever field it is, right?
48:35
It's like I saw this host the other day talking about like ideas are a dime a dozen.
48:40
But when you take action and you make it happen, that's the difference between all the people living in ideas and the people who are successful.
48:46
And I feel like as a leader, it's the same thing you're deciding to lead people in a subject or in an area of, of life and it is going to feel lonely because you're here with people.
48:56
And then all of a sudden you're putting yourself here and not like levels, but just, you know, you're, you're deciding to take charge of your life and to stand in that truth.
49:05
And that is a very, you know, you have, it is a risk like you said, it is, it is an area that can be dicey, might be the right word for yourself.
49:14
You know, for the ego, for the subconscious, all of it 100%.
49:17
I just gotta say, I feel like I just had deja vu.
49:20
I was like, we've done this before in this moment.
49:24
I was like sitting here watching you talk.
49:26
So for those that don't know, we're on Zoom and I was like listening to Sam and I was like, yes, I was like, holy shit.
49:30
I've seen this happen before in my life.
49:32
I was like, wow, like supposed to be doing this.
49:38
Yeah, I agree.
49:39
I agree.
49:40
But yes, I think that is a conversation that we really need to talk about.
49:44
And the last thing I want everyone to really listen to and think about is like the cost that it can happen.
49:52
You know, the cost of not bleeding, not expressing yourself compared to the cost of saying the same.
49:59
And any time that I get up against this wall myself where I'm like, oh, there is a risk that someone might not believe in me or someone might leave me.
50:09
I'm like, is that the risk I'm willing to take or am I willing to take the risk of self abandoning myself?
50:16
Because in every single time that I don't share my truth or that I don't share my opinion or I don't lead or I don't bring myself as the visionary or the parts of me forward every single time I choose to not do that.
50:30
I am just self abandoning myself.
50:32
And I think that's what I want everyone to think about is like, where do you want to be at?
50:37
And I think you still have your choice.
50:39
I'm not trying to put you in a corner but just choosing that, that's the level of choice that we're making every single day that we don't step into that.
50:48
Yeah.
50:48
And I think everyone has the potential to be a leader.
50:51
I just think it's coming every single person.
50:53
Yeah.
50:54
Yeah.
50:54
And, and you don't have to be the leader of groups that the other thing, it's just self leader that we're talking about.
51:00
You don't have to own a business and be a CEO, you don't have to have a team and like have people underneath you.
51:06
You don't even have to have a partner to be a leader.
51:08
Like it's just self leading to be the sovereign CEO of your life.
51:14
You are the CEO of your life, right?
51:16
I've talked about this in other ways.
51:18
But each individual person, you are the one that is designing, creating and living the processes that you have decided to implement in your life and how you want to live.
51:27
Yeah.
51:28
Yeah.
51:28
And I think there is, you know, I think that also and I'm sure you can relate to this too is like you just got over the feeling that comes from not fully expressing yourself like waking up and not feeling passionate, not feeling excited for the day or excited for life like that is it?
51:44
And then it just compounds day after day, month, after month, year after year.
51:47
And I feel like we, you know, just knowing astrology especially, I feel like we all come here with a specific blueprint and purpose and we can choose to express our unique chart fully or we can hinder ourselves.
52:01
It is a choice.
52:02
And I think that the world would be a far, far better place if more of us really got out of our own way and embodied all of who we are and fully let the like stop letting the mind run the show, take control and show up for yourself because you deserve it.
52:20
Amen.
52:21
So good.
52:22
Well, thank you so much for listening to this podcast.
52:25
I am going to conclude it.
52:27
But Sam, is there anything that you want to say or share before we wrap up today's episode?
52:32
I feel like we, we said it all.
52:34
But yeah, it would just be reiterating like, you know, oh, I guess one more thing I would say in regards to this is it's also ok if you don't know yet who you are or, or who you want to be.
52:46
But just to start asking yourself, and I, I also always encourage people to like, ask the universe for signs because you have your higher self, you have your, I believe that we have guides and angels and all of the deceased, you know, family members on the other side, helping us and supporting us and wanting the universe really wants us to succeed.
53:05
It doesn't want to see us suffer.
53:07
And I think that if you can hold a vision for yourself, even if it's not fully clear yet, just know that like the answers will come.
53:15
We're not meant to be lost forever.
53:17
Yeah, totally.
53:18
I love this episode so much and I'm so excited for what's to come.
53:22
I am so grateful for this month being a little bit more free flowing.
53:25
So we could just like speak to you.
53:27
I think leadership was very much on our minds and visionary and what that's stepping in to do.
53:32
So if you got a chance to listen to today's episode, please go ahead and leave a review for today's podcast episode.
53:38
It just really helps us, helps me push out the podcast and we're excited to see you next week.
53:45
We'll have a little announcement to share.
53:47
I will and make sure you tune into that and we're going to be concluded the month of August.
53:52
So much love.
