Full Transcript
0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:04
And this is the show where we have conversations that invite you into living a life, fully expressed, creating relationships where you feel the most fully expressed, bringing your fullest expressed version into your businesses and in your careers.
0:18
And what I love about the show is that traditionally, we are always just having conversations where you feel like it’s just two of us sitting at dinner table and you’re just like hanging out with us.
0:29
So I’m so excited for you to listen to today’s episode.
0:32
I’m bringing on a new guest onto the podcast.
0:35
This new guest, her name is Mariana.
0:38
That’s how I say it, right?
0:39
You Mariana Beauty.
0:42
Her name is Mariana Jimenez.
0:43
And we actually met at a podcast conference called Podcast Evolutions 2024 in LA and one, if you are thinking about a podcast or you just want to hear how podcasting businesses are at that conference, I found very, very helpful.
1:00
But when I walked away even more with like how I putting like podcasting business can be, but also just like the community of people there.
1:08
Like I’ve, I’ve been to a number of conferences from A I conferences, to government conferences, to tech conferences, to like women’s conferences.
1:18
And it was so special to be a part of a community where everyone’s willing to contribute to each other’s success.
1:25
You know, you really felt this like deep support and I got to meet Mariana because they had these like little meetups that you got to choose.
1:33
So there was one full day that was like, really encouraging connection.
1:36
I was like, you’re thinking about a conference, like you guys should really do this.
1:39
But there was women in tech, I guess, I guess women in tech or women in podcasting beat up.
1:46
And that’s where I met Mariana and it was hilarious because I remember walking into that and like, I sat down with like 20 women and then like, everyone just like, shuffled their business cards from like left to right left to right.
2:01
It was like, oh my God, this is how we do business.
2:03
And then we sat down getting to know one of each other and like talking with one another and it was just, I, I met Marianna and I was like, ok, Mara, you have to come onto the podcast.
2:12
So for those, I don’t know, but Marianna is a resilience coach, I’m going to let her introduce herself, but she has so much to offer about resiliency and what that actually means in defining that.
2:23
And I think where we’re going to really get to is how you leverage that as a foundation to being a woman that is fully expressed to really stepping into your fullest express version.
2:33
But we do need that sense of resilience as a part of our tool set as we’re stepping into that a express version of us.
2:41
So, hi Mariana.
2:42
Hello.
2:43
You humbled me so much.
2:45
I honestly bee lined for Karenna when I met her at the conference.
2:49
So we were like, you made it seem so cas meta, but I honestly met her or what you had to say about your career.
2:56
And I was like, I need to talk to this girl.
2:57
So a little bit, it was a little bit more crazy than she made it seem so I really appreciate how much she humbled me.
3:03
But thank you so much for the lovely introduction.
3:07
I’m so happy to be here as Karenna said, my name is Mariana and I’m so glad we get to say our names like properly pronounced in like the Latino way.
3:15
I love it at all.
3:16
I am the founder of Committed to Growth resilience coaching as well as the host of the Commitment to Growth podcast, which I don’t know, was on actually recorded this morning.
3:23
So this is fantastic and I am really focused on educating women on how to lead resilient lives by cultivating resilient minds, resilient lifestyles and resilient hearts.
3:35
So my kind of pillar for my business is I like to define resilience as not and of having grit and willpower towards one area of your life.
3:46
One problem that you’re, that you’re dealing with at a given moment, resilience is actually the how the foundations in your life come together to give you strength to persevere through, through adversity.
3:57
So there are six pillars in my business that I work off of just to kind of give context as to what those foundations are.
4:04
So I look at six things in your life, your relationship to yourself, your quality of connections with others, your physical health and lifestyle habits, your relationship to your thoughts and emotions, your capacity for delayed gratification and your ability to shift your perspective during times of challenge.
4:22
So those are kind of the six areas where I like to say that if you come to me with something, we’ll kind of zoom out and look at those areas of your life to see where maybe there’s a few blips that are causing you to feel less strong, less able to persevere, less able to find, encourage and inspiration within you to transcend what you’re, what you’re navigating in a given moment.
4:44
So that’s a bit about me and, and the work that I do so beautiful and so exciting.
4:49
I feel like there’s so much there that we can jump into.
4:52
I would love to hear how you, where your story started.
4:55
Like, what does it look like for you.
4:56
Like where were you before you even thought about coaching, but like really being able to even apply these tools and these areas into your areas of life.
5:05
Yeah, I feel like this answer changes every single because now I’m in a place in my career where I can look back and say, I think it was always something that I wanted to, to do is pursue life coaching or at least the purpose embedded in life coaching.
5:19
But essentially one year ago, I finished my bachelor’s degree in Kine.
5:23
So sports, science and nutrition for the that don’t know the term kinesiology.
5:28
And for like 12 years of my life, I thought I was going to become a doctor.
5:32
So I finished last year, I had planned on writing my medical school entrance exam and applying to medical school and decided to go work in health care while I ran through that process and going into health care.
5:44
For many, many reasons.
5:46
I just realized that it was not the way that I could fulfill the purpose that I wanted to, to fulfill.
5:52
I was really and discouraged that the system, the way that the system sees human health, which is that very kind of biological mechanical model of your body has a cause and effect versus looking at you as a whole mind, body, spirit emotions, right?
6:07
So that was kind of the main reason why I said, I just don’t think I can, I can go into that work and expect to be as fulfilled as I’d like to be.
6:14
So I went through a big existential crisis.
6:16
I canceled the exam.
6:17
I deferred my applications and said, ok, well, why not try life coaching to see, you know, what happens?
6:25
And at that point, I had already interviewed a number of coaches on my podcast.
6:28
So I already pulled a ton of inspiration from them as to how I wanted to approach my medical career eventually.
6:34
So I said, you know what, let’s try, let’s try the road.
6:37
They walked on, ended up loving it.
6:39
And because at that point, I already had the commit to Growth podcast as a little passion project.
6:44
I just branded out, commit to growth out as a whole as, as the brand that now exists and that I know create with.
6:51
So why ation resilience coaching is because throughout my, my career in Kines, I always have this question of what is it that makes people truly resilient, right?
7:03
Because in school, I learned about how physical health contributes to that as far as your physical strength, your physical health, but also your your psychological health, right?
7:12
But it still struck me that there are people who led perfectly resilient and well not resilient, sorry, kind of holistically balanced lives and they were unhappy, they didn’t have what they want, they were really unfulfilled with life.
7:26
So it was that question that was always looming above me and when I went into life coaching and really started, like, went really deep into my study of human behavior.
7:36
And I got in, I did neuroscience internship at school.
7:39
I started to notice that it was a lot that was around the, the definition of resilience and how we look at resilience because how we’re taught, what we’re taught something means creates our schema or like way of looking at it.
7:51
Right.
7:52
So I know as I’m sure a lot of your listeners can relate to.
7:55
There’s this sense.
7:56
So I’m not disciplined.
7:57
I’m super lazy, like such an impostor when you can’t transcend something in your life because we think that you have to try it, that thing again and again and again and again.
8:06
But what I learned is that no, it’s everything that’s beneath or around that thing that is usually where the gap is that needs to be filled.
8:17
So that’s the approach I’ve been trying to take to really just heal women’s relationship with how they view resilience and themselves ultimately, right?
8:24
Because that repeating narrative of I am not capable.
8:27
I’m so lazy.
8:28
I’m so this, I’m so that really harms your, your self image and your trust in your, your strength, in your perseverance.
8:35
So that’s, that’s how this came to be in a nutshell.
8:40
That’s, I mean, I’d love to thank you for sharing that.
8:42
I’d love to double down on that a little bit more.
8:44
So like if someone is, let’s say running into the same thing over and over again.
8:50
And then they find themselves in these, in these stories of like, I’m not good enough, I’m lazy.
8:56
I’m, I can’t change.
8:58
This is who I am.
9:00
It’s always going to be this result.
9:02
You know, this, it sounds very like victim mindset, but like very, it’s not that I want to highlight that it’s a victim mindset.
9:08
It’s just kind of really stuck in that story of like this is who I am and this is what always will be and how would you navigate that?
9:17
I think a lot of times you have to address why you keep approaching things the same way, expecting a different result.
9:25
And I would say that with what I’ve seen and the people I’ve worked with, it usually comes down to the attachment to some outcome being one of the reasons why there’s that repeated try and fail process.
9:36
But also there’s usually some kind of limiting belief within about yourself, right?
9:42
Because if you are fearing innovation or adaptability to something new, there’s probably something within you that really fears either the newness of that new approach or your perception of your capability to adopt that new approach, right?
9:58
So I think it starts there because the moment that you can identify perhaps the leading belief or the leading thought that is kind of keeping you in circles, that’s the domino effect to everything that comes before that.
10:09
So for example, one that comes a lot is in relationships when people don’t ask for their needs to be met.
10:16
So there is this constant kind of toxic cycle between the two partners or anybody in a partnership who they get really frustrated at each other.
10:24
Because why don’t the other person know what I want?
10:27
This person should know and understand that I need whether it’s physical touch or their attention or their undivided attention.
10:34
Right.
10:34
But, ok, so a you’re assuming that the person should know what you want, right?
10:39
So the the the issue here is there’s no communication, why is there no communication?
10:43
And that’s kind of the seed that then sprouts kind of everything else from there, right?
10:48
Oh, so if there’s no communication, it’s probably because I fear stating my needs.
10:51
Ok.
10:52
So that’s driving the behavior.
10:54
How do we work back to, to find the seed of that fear?
10:57
Right.
10:58
So that’s kind of the pro 11 of my processes in a nutshell.
11:02
Yeah, that’s, I mean, so beautiful.
11:04
It’s really inviting that compassionate curiosity to be like, oh, so why am I not communicating?
11:10
Oh, I struggle to express my needs and my wants.
11:13
Well, where does that come from?
11:15
So it’s really kind of diving deeper into the seed of the fear or the root of the fear that you hear a lot commonly.
11:22
So that’s really helpful.
11:23
And so for a client that wants to build more of their resiliency towards working through these, these limiting beliefs or these challenges, what can they do and practice and their day to day to get them to a place where they are capable of combating that limiting belief that comes up often or that’s capable of combating that thought that says you’re lazy, you’re not worthy, you’re going to stay the same like this.
11:53
It’s not worth it.
11:54
So how can someone combat that in their daily practice?
11:58
Yeah, that’s a beautiful question I think for, for me, I have the privilege of working with.
12:03
I would say the vast majority of my clients are women who I have a midlife crisis like their Children, just they’re growing older and they don’t depend on their moms anymore or they’ve arrived at a place in which they’re not satisfied with the life that they have anymore.
12:18
They’ve been going in circles for way too long.
12:20
But the process out of that is really difficult because as you know, when you make something, a habit like a routine or a way of thinking or a way of believing, it becomes solidified in your brain, right?
12:31
And it becomes way harder to break it and adopt something new.
12:36
So I would say that a lot of the work starts with, OK, what are the living beliefs that are keeping you where you are?
12:42
So as far as how much do you believe in your capabilities, what capabilities do you think you have or don’t have that will get you to where you want.
12:48
But the most consistent block that I see in the women that I coach is this in a meant to their desires.
12:57
So it’s very common that someone will come to me and say I’m not satisfied with my life anymore.
13:03
But I don’t know what my ideal life looks like or I know that I don’t want to be in this job anymore or this relationship anymore, but I don’t know what I desire instead of this.
13:13
And it’s not so much that they don’t know, it’s more that there’s a fear in accepting that what you want you’re worthy of having.
13:22
So I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this and, and you as well, you have this, this notion in your mind of, well, I want to wake up to a beachfront property and I want to roll over and see my ideal partner lying next to me and I want three Chihuahuas and a yacht and a marble kitchen and then some part of your brain goes.
13:43
But you’re not successful, you haven’t done anything and like to deserve those things.
13:48
You have never had a successful relationship.
13:51
So what makes you think that you would roll over and see the perfect person beside you?
13:54
Right.
13:54
That’s usually what stops the, the fullest expression of that desire.
13:59
We give ourselves reason to believe that we can’t have what we want.
14:02
So, a lot of that process is really step into that.
14:06
Like the empowerment of what do you want, state it, claim it.
14:10
It’s OK if you don’t have it right now, there’s this beautiful quote by, by Jim Rone.
14:14
He’s like one of the most like new renowned, like scholars or professionals in early like 19 seventies days of personal growth.
14:23
And it’s literally like the quote that I see every time I open up my laptop because it’s my desktop picture, it says success is not a doing process.
14:31
It’s a becoming process.
14:33
So that’s really the the ideology that I try to instill in my clients is or anybody really that I come across is it’s not about getting what you want.
14:42
It’s becoming the person that can accept those things.
14:45
And I think that’s where a lot of the work is so well said, and I’m glad that you brought that to that place because I think that that happens all the time where people, you know, I struggle with this.
14:54
Like we talked about affirmations or manifestation boards and you have these vision boards and you’re like, those are the kinds of things that I want, right?
15:02
You are, you’re creating this space of like, I think that’s what I want.
15:06
Like that’s, that’s what looks good.
15:07
I’ll be happy once I receive those things.
15:10
But it’s so much more about the journey of becoming the woman, the person, the being that is able to receive those things, right?
15:19
And in my experience has been like, really getting to a place where you, it’s based on feeling.
15:25
I would love your perspective on this because, you know, it’s really like in becoming, it’s like, well, how do I actually want to feel and then peeling it back from there as to like, ok, so I want to feel happy and I want to feel content, what parts of my life don’t feel that way, you know, and like, and then work from that area.
15:41
But it’s like getting all these different parts of you on board to fully feel the becoming of what you’re calling in.
15:49
Is that fair?
15:51
No, 100% you just, the more we talk, the more I’m like, we are the same person so happy to see that there’s more people walking about and really embracing this idea of how do you want to feel?
16:02
Are you familiar with the book?
16:04
The Desire Map that tell us that’s actually the, it’s actually the book or I got that concept.
16:10
So this book, it’s called The Desire Map by Daniela Port and it’s called the Desire Map because she kind of takes you on a journey towards really figuring out what you want.
16:20
So really tuning into what that desire is, but she approaches it the same way.
16:25
She says, don’t have a vision of what that looks like.
16:27
Focus first on how you want to feel in life.
16:30
Do you want to feel happy when you wake up.
16:31
Do you want to feel abundant, financially secure?
16:34
Like just blurt out everything that you want to feel?
16:37
Because the moment that you, you identify what you want to feel, the things and the people and the situations that manifest those feelings for you will come into your life.
16:45
You have to focus on and become the magnet of your emotions because at the end of the day, like you might not have $5 million in the bank, but you can still feel abundant.
16:55
You can still feel like a force of attraction for opportunities and stuff, right?
16:59
Because you do have control over most of the time, over your emotions and when you adopt them and embody them, the things that are aligned with that will come into your life.
17:09
And what’s interesting is that there’s, there’s always a catch to that and I, this is why I love this work and I love seeing how takes people places where they thought they might not have or they might not end up because oftentimes our idea of success or joy or satisfaction is tied to something that society tells us we will manifest that.
17:29
But I’ve seen a lot in myself and in the people I worked with, they really focus on that feeling and something totally different comes along like a totally different person that they and they envision would make them happy in a partnership or a job opportunity of some kind, right?
17:42
Because at the end of the day it’s what’s vibrating with our values and our desires.
17:46
Not necessarily our conception of what we think success or, or joy is, you know, so absolutely on board with that every single day.
17:54
Yeah, I hear that something that came to mind when you are talking about something recently that I’ve done in my partnership, especially like when we’re going through hard times or like going through tough seasons or whatever, I realize I have a tendency to focus on the tough seasons, like the negative aspect of what’s happening and it attracts that feeling, you know, it’s like, well, I’m focusing on the negative in, in this situation, I’m focusing on the things that the lack of right, or the thing we could have or how things could be differently and that I end up attracting more of that, right?
18:25
And so this is back to the sense of manifestation, like I was manifesting more of that.
18:30
And so when you’re able to, and then what I’ve noticed is like, if I just focus on what I’m really damn grateful for my relationship, like what we do have, like, I feel overly grateful and overly abundant and I attract more abundancy.
18:44
And I think that’s what we’re talking to, right?
18:46
Like I think that’s like the another thing, the double edged sword to, to manifestation because if you are in this like deep negative focus whatever you focus on or whatever you put your energy towards is what you’ll receive.
19:00
And what we’re talking to so much is like the actual opportunity and becoming and feeling the thing that we want the external results is we always think that like we want these external results.
19:10
But at the end of the day, it’s like, how do you want to feel in that?
19:12
Because we all have access to feeling those things without the external results.
19:19
And if we can come from that place, I really think that a we build a sense of resiliency because even with the, with or without the thing, we still feel that way that I think that is such a beautiful thing for any of the listeners to listen to is like, even if we don’t have, let’s say you’re single and you don’t have the partner, you’re not married, even for a new person, but you still feel this way.
19:42
Congratulations.
19:43
Like you feel good.
19:44
You know, you don’t need to have the partner or the relationship or like, let’s say like the $5 million account that you were talking about.
19:51
It’s like, ok, I want $5 million in the bank.
19:54
But what if I, I felt like I had $5 million of the bank?
19:56
Congratulations.
19:57
That is a huge win, you know, without the $5 million.
20:01
Because I think if we can feel that way throughout our lives, we will call in more organically, but it does build a sense of resiliency if we can bring ourselves to that 100%.
20:11
No.
20:11
And that is, that is right back to that pillar of how are you able to tailor your perspective during times of change?
20:17
But also I think it also touches beautifully on, it’s all integrated.
20:21
That’s why I love this.
20:22
It’s really about how you, how your relationship with your emotions and your thoughts are because you can hold both at the same time, right?
20:29
So in your example, you can recognize that you’re going through something difficult and that you’re having trouble navigating.
20:36
But you said something beautiful in the recording that never got uploaded because we had to record our episode on my podcast.
20:45
You said something so beautiful that day was the concept of, of and because we are, yes and because yes, you can be frustrated or upset at the hard times that you’re going through with your partner.
20:57
And you can also focus on the abundance and the joy within that because a we are such intricate human beings, all of us, but you can make room for both.
21:07
You don’t have to focus all your energy on one because that’s exactly like exactly like you said, what you, what you focus on grows essentially and it’s not, it’s not being toxic positive, right?
21:19
I think that’s the other aspect that people really get wrong.
21:22
They’re like, well, then I just feel like I’m neglecting or diminishing the the not so nice as I feel and I’m like, no, again, you can be both.
21:31
But what do you want more of, to grow, more of the sadness, more of the pain or do you want to grow hope and abundance and, and fulfillment?
21:38
You know?
21:39
Yeah.
21:39
As I think the first thing I think about like in moments of like tough times, like in the past, that’s like the only thing I would be hyper vigilant on.
21:46
And then when I’ve been able to we that, hey, I see that this is a tough time and I’m so grateful.
21:53
Like there, there’s a sense of duality in that and there’s a sense of peace and grounded.
21:57
It’s like the positivity I don’t want yeah, to your point, like I’m like, trying not to be like, positively toxic, but that’s not what I’m saying.
22:04
It’s like the positive, the grateful look or the grounded view of it is resourcing us to be with also hard.
22:13
So it’s like, and you think about it from like the nervous system perspective, it’s so much about like, hey, how can I be in the duality of both?
22:20
Because being in the heart is hard.
22:22
Totally.
22:22
I don’t want to take away from that.
22:23
And there’s also a lot to be grateful for and when you’re able to hold both and be in the Yes and you aren’t doing yourself a disservice or you’re not doing a disservice to the parts of you or ignoring yourself or overriding your experience.
22:36
It’s like really being with your entire experience.
22:38
Is that fair?
22:39
Yes.
22:40
No, 100%.
22:41
And I think that’s the, that’s the beauty of, of the human experience, right?
22:45
Is that you can, you can feel so many things at once, even if some of the things are so comfortable.
22:49
Hope is I think, and I think I’ve grown to learn, it’s such a form of resist, resistance to the consumer culture, right?
22:57
Like we are in a society that and not to get too political or anything, right?
23:02
But we’re in a society that keeps us wanting more through material goods or it wants to convince us that our joy and our happiness is in more consumption.
23:11
But really again, it’s in that becoming process, right?
23:14
If you want abundance, you have to feel abundant and that comes from looking at the things in your life that make you abundant.
23:21
So the family relationships, if you don’t have that, that’s ok.
23:24
Your friends outside of your family, your your job, your physical health, your house, right?
23:29
You have to create that fulfillment and in that sense of awe from what you already have.
23:36
And in that, even if you’re working towards a goal, knowing that the only reason why that goal or that dream was planted in your mind is because some part of you already knows that you have what it takes.
23:47
Because imagine like for you or for of your listeners, imagine something that you want now or that you’re working towards that at some point in your life, you were like, I never thought I could do this.
23:56
Like, what I’m doing now running a business by myself and the podcast and everything.
24:00
If you had told me that like a year ago, that I’d be doing this following me before my existential Christ, I would have told you, there’s no way like I don’t have what it takes.
24:08
But then life pivots you and slowly you start adapting the confidence and the and the belief in yourself and it comes in step by sequences.
24:17
But that only started from a curiosity, right?
24:19
And the curiosity grew as I explored it in my case.
24:22
And then that confidence comes from competence, right?
24:26
From the experience.
24:27
So it’s about leading into what you already have and trusting that to get you to the next step.
24:32
It’s, it’s enough for now.
24:33
Yes.
24:34
So I thank you for that.
24:35
I want to hear a little bit more about this accidental crisis that you had.
24:40
Yeah, I mean, I, I think it was, it was so born out of the attachment I had to outcome, right?
24:49
Like I had tied so much of my identity to becoming a doctor because I spent so many years doing the pre-med route, right?
24:58
Like for those of you that don’t know if you’re a pre-med in university, you are grinding because you have to make yourself stand out as much as possible.
25:07
Being yourself is not enough in the eyes of medical school advisors.
25:09
You have to have a job volunteer at hospitals and doctors offices, get top tier grades, contribute back to your school community while also having a social life and maintaining good health and good mental health.
25:21
Right?
25:21
And a lot of people and myself included hit severe burnout in that.
25:26
Right?
25:26
Because you’re always, always trying so hard to prove yourself, but you won’t know if it’s going to be enough until they tell you in your letter.
25:33
Yes or no.
25:33
And actually the first time I applied to medical school two years ago, like it’s been about a year and a half, I got rejected.
25:41
And that was so big and it kept me on that hamster wheel of I have to be more, I have to be more.
25:46
I have to be more.
25:47
And so I got rejected in December 4 months later, I had this existential crisis and that narrative of I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough step like step into that essential crisis.
26:00
So I, I walk away from the exam.
26:02
I’m like, I have to take a break.
26:03
And now all what’s going through my head is your a quitter.
26:07
Like you’re just taking the easy path.
26:08
Now, you have to tell you about your exam.
26:11
Like what’s wrong with you?
26:12
You know, it was just the self talk that you would never tell a friend who was going to the same thing I was doing unto myself, right?
26:19
And so it was super, super eye opening because it was a total surrender to something’s not feeling right?
26:28
So you can’t push through it.
26:29
I’m a super intuitive person.
26:31
Like if I’m doing something things slightly outside of my integrity, I feel it so physically like my intuition is so so loud and I’m very grateful for that.
26:39
But sometimes I’m like, girl, like you turn it down two notches like she’s so loud sometimes.
26:45
But it was, it was really leading into that and just going with the winds of the winds of change really as cheesy as that sounds like I just dedicated all of last summer to trying different classes in the city.
26:58
Like I joined life coaching school, but I also went to King’s class and I went to dance classes and I met new people and it was just about allowing my eyes to open enough and enough away from this one dream that I’d like always, always had as the the target for so long.
27:15
And it just took a little bit of being open to seeing what else there was.
27:20
And really something a friend of mine said to me that has carried me through and continues to carry me through this, this new pursuit is he was like, well, what if this is transition?
27:31
It’s not about pursuing something different.
27:34
Maybe you’re just pursuing the same purpose through a different how and it couldn’t be closer to the truth because so much of the work that I’m doing with women now is exactly what I envisioned myself doing once I became a doctor.
27:47
But it’s just in a different way now and with the same impact.
27:50
So, or a different impact really because I love how this is blossomed.
27:54
So how beautiful is that you were able to like, I mean, it sounds like you were very attached to like this is what life is supposed to look like.
28:03
This is what I’m supposed to be looking like.
28:04
This is what I’ve worked so hard for to like transition that and phasing that.
28:09
And I can see that it requires a lot of resilience to do the work through that transition.
28:14
I would love to, to peel back a little bit of a layer of, you know, you talked about how everyone like especially in the medical world is probably a good way to say it.
28:24
But I, so I just want to say it’s like at least here in the United States, it’s, it’s, there’s hustle culture where, you know, the idea of like to be accepted.
28:34
I have to do more.
28:35
And I think this is a fine line because a lot of the women that listen to this podcast and a lot of the women that I talked to do is around them wanting more for themselves.
28:44
And I think there’s a huge difference between being more for someone else versus being more for you.
28:51
And it sounds like you were living and I would love to hear your perspective on this.
28:55
But what was it like living by the standards, expectations, the assumptions of being more for someone else versus now, literally being more for yourself?
29:07
Oh My God.
29:08
What a beautiful question I can like.
29:11
And as you were asking me that I just started getting like light bulbs in my head of how that same mindset towards my medical profession seeped into my relationship.
29:21
Like it’s, and I think that’s a really important thing to note is that you can’t always cherry pick how your mindset in one area, area of your life is distinct from that same mindset towards other places.
29:34
So if you don’t feel enough for the medical school advisors or the people in your corporate job or your partner, you’re not going to feel enough in your friendships or your family, right?
29:45
Like I think it’s very difficult to say one is either one or the other, right?
29:48
I think it’s both, but just a little side note there.
29:51
I think what was such a huge facet of that kind of existential crisis and to surrender was what I said earlier, like leaning into you have what you need right now.
30:02
You know, even if it’s not, even if the outcome doesn’t look like what you thought you’d be doing right now, you have what you need, like, you arrived at this point because of something and no matter what that is, no matter what it looks like.
30:14
One week from now, one month from now, one year from now this is where you’re to be and you have what, what it takes to, to navigate this.
30:20
Right.
30:20
So it’s, I think it’s really, really leaning into that, but also detaching from the things that you can’t control.
30:29
So I could go into like how the competition works in medical school and all that fun stuff, but I, I won’t bore you with it.
30:36
It was just like I knew I had something to offer, but maybe somebody else didn’t the advisor that got my application or it was just a really competitive round of, of applicants who had master’s degrees at that point just had my bachelor’s, right.
30:47
So could go into all the factors that I can’t control.
30:50
But what I can control is is that knowing?
30:52
Right?
30:53
And I think it also comes back to what we spoke, what we spoke about earlier in, is it that you truly want that thing or is this rerouting pointing you towards what you actually desire or what you actually need to fulfill the feeling that you want to, to step into?
31:09
Right?
31:09
Because I can say now with like so much clarity and again, it took going through it and riding that wave that this is so what I’m meant to be doing because I get to really make of this career, what I want with it versus perhaps only fulfilling what an MD would allow me to fulfill it, you know, with a doctor’s degree or something.
31:29
So, it’s so much more than that, of course, but all that to say, to patch it up into something for the listeners.
31:35
Ride the wave because it’s always, always guiding you towards what’s really meant for you.
31:41
Yeah.
31:42
And so in, in riding the wave, I think this is going to be one of my last questions.
31:46
But in riding the wave, how does someone navigate the this regulation of being on the wave and riding the wave or riding the wave?
31:55
And it’s like a really big wave and you’re like, I’ve never ridden a wave like this before or like, you know, learning how to ride the wave.
32:01
Like what are some things that they can find themselves of?
32:03
Like, especially if there’s a listener out there right now listening and saying like, damn, I’m in the middle of this transition myself or I’m in the middle of a season where I feel like I can’t catch my breath or like, I don’t know what that’s gonna look like.
32:14
How can this, this person at least have something to hold on to or faith in some kind of direction when they’re in the middle of that?
32:23
Yeah, that’s a beautiful question because sometimes it’s really hard to feel that regulation when there’s no set end point, right?
32:28
Or it just feels like you’re walking through fog and it doesn’t, you know, cancel, it’s gonna get clear.
32:32
So I would say my first suggestion would be really take a look at the subconscious expectations that you have that are creating some of your discomfort.
32:41
So in my, in my case, it was, you have to be a doctor.
32:45
You’re going to be the first family member to become a doctor.
32:47
Everybody’s relying on you like you have to be that cycle breaker that transcends the corporate ladder or whatever, right?
32:54
What are those expectations that you’re carrying that are causing that discomfort?
32:58
Because often it really comes down to the bread and butter is, is that is like what we’re telling ourselves without becoming conscious of it.
33:06
The second thing I would say is if you’re in a season where you feel like things are just happening to you, look at how they’re happening for you because there’s always something, there’s always something hidden in the circumstances were being presented, right?
33:21
Have you always wanted to quit your job?
33:23
Like, have you, do you hate your boss?
33:25
And now you’re in a place where they’re doing cuts in your job, right?
33:28
It’s scary.
33:29
It’s scary, but sometimes the universe or God or whatever you call your higher power gives you that nudge to say, hey, this is how I’m pushing you to finally take ownership of your dreams and take responsibility for them.
33:43
And the other thing.
33:45
And my last point to this question I would say is leaning into what your soul and your body will guide you towards.
33:53
So this is actually a conversation I was having with a friend earlier because she’s unemployed right now and she’s like, waiting to hear back from some applications and she feels in her words really useless.
34:03
And I was like, it’s not like you’re sitting at home doing nothing like you’re reading, you’re going to the gym, you’re seeing friends, you’re working on passion projects says, yeah, but I just don’t feel like I have a purpose and I go, maybe it’s because our purpose is so tied to our work, our professional work, right?
34:17
Versus there are seasons in life and really all the time, right?
34:21
Where it’s really important to embrace this idea.
34:24
That purpose isn’t something that is only driven by long term pursuit, but it can be a moment to moment thing, right?
34:30
So if you’re sitting at home right now and you either just got laid off or you’re thinking about quitting your job, but you don’t know what that looks like or you want to leave that relationship really like give yourself the space to see what your heart is guided towards because your heart will show you your curiosities if you just allow it.
34:46
So in my case, last summer, I just was like, I am curious about life coaching school and then I looked into it and that curiosity grew.
34:54
Next thing, you know, I had bought my spot in my life coaching school, right.
34:57
For you.
34:58
It might be, I’m really curious about taking up poetry or I really want to go to that webinar about, I don’t know, sexuality or, or saving or investing, right?
35:08
Just throwing ideas out there, right?
35:10
But in, in these seasons where you feel like you’ve been going in that rat race or you aren’t sure how to break those cycles.
35:17
You kind of just have to let your heart show you.
35:19
I don’t know if that sounds cheesy or not, but that’s the best way I know how to describe it.
35:23
I think it sounds perfect, you know, and I really love that.
35:25
You share and let you know your purpose.
35:27
I think we do tie a lot of our purpose to what our job is, what our career is, what our title is, what our role is and what we don’t realize, I think back to the becoming, it’s also in the being of that purpose, right?
35:40
So we can still be the, be the being, be the essence of what the embodiment is of that purpose without having the title, right?
35:49
And it’s coming back like, what is that for ourselves?
35:51
And I think that’s so beautiful for us to remember because as a fully expressed woman, you know, I truly believe it’s, it’s, it’s you expressing every part of yourself and it doesn’t mean you have a defined purpose by like work or title or role that you step into.
36:08
It’s so much in your being, it’s in how you are expressing yourself.
36:11
And so by listening to, hey, I have this calling for the poetry example that you said or like, hey, I want to learn more in investing.
36:19
You’re giving yourself an opportunity to live by purpose by expressing these parts of you that are curious to leaning into these different topics and different things and ways of being.
36:28
So that was so beautifully sad and as a last and final question, because this has been so great.
36:36
How are you living your fully stressed life today?
36:39
So how are you really leaning into and honoring your fullest express version of you?
36:45
Oh What a beautiful question.
36:48
It’s also one that I think changes by the season, right?
36:50
Like because some weeks I might tell you, I’m just letting myself put my pajamas on at 5 p.m. and sit and read and others, like in this season, it’s really embracing the part of me that wants to go, go, go and doing so in a very balanced and healthy way.
37:04
But I think right now to me being fully expressed is like speaking from my power, really, I think I, you mentioned this on my podcast, like this idea of you let yourself be toned down or you toned yourself down for so long.
37:19
But now after traveling the last two months and right now being in a place where I dropped everything to just do my business.
37:27
I, again, I arrived at this place because I, I can, but that can means it might feel a little bit uncomfortable at first to like, say, I believe in what I’m doing and I have the tools to, to help people and to help them step into their fully express selves.
37:42
But you have to, you have to practice it to, to instill it in yourself, you know, so doing it despite fear, I would say, oh, I love that.
37:53
Well, I’m definitely here supporting you and guy and like here to celebrate you guys, like you are going after all the things you want to be going and you go, go, go and like stepping into your power and embracing it even though it might be a little stretchy and expanding, which is so beautiful here right now.
38:09
Stretching and expanding is the perfect way to describe it.
38:13
That’s exactly what it sounds like.
38:15
And I love those seasons of stretching and expanding because it’s like you’re in the duality of like holy shit.
38:21
This is a lot.
38:22
Oh My God.
38:22
This is so exciting.
38:23
It’s like, it’s like the duality of like, oh my God, I’m so scared, but this feels really good at the same time.
38:28
Like I don’t know what I’m doing.
38:29
This is stretchy and expanding.
38:30
I’m leaning and da da, da, da da.
38:31
But it’s like, overall just a really expansive season for.
38:38
So that’s amazing.
38:40
How can someone connect with you, find you listen to your podcast, all the things.
38:46
Yeah.
38:46
So the best way to connect with me is on Instagram.
38:49
It’s at commitment to growth.
38:51
One word cited to my D MS nicely.
38:55
We can chat, just vibe.
38:57
I’m really active on there.
38:58
So always happy to chat with people.
39:01
I also am very active on my website.
39:03
It’s www dot Commitment to growth.com.
39:06
Grab some freebies at over there, learn a little bit more about my, my coaching programs that are available.
39:11
And if you look up the Commitment to Growth podcast, very easy, same name across all pops.
39:16
It’s available on Apple Spotify.
39:18
You can find it in the link in my bio on Instagram.
39:20
So commitment to growth pretty much everywhere if you just look it up.
39:24
So that that’s where you so beautiful.
39:26
I will make sure to put that in the show notes for you guys as well.
39:29
And yeah, thank you so much Mariana for coming onto the podcast.
39:32
It has been so sweet connecting with you over the last 24 hours and just being in your energy and so nice meeting you at the podcast event.
39:40
I think I talk about this on the community all the time or on this podcast all the time, like community, everything like who your relationships are, are are direct reflection of your network, your net worth.
39:52
Like it’s just the quality of people that you have in your life.
39:55
And so thank you for coming into mine and I’m so excited to support you on yours.
40:00
Thank you so much.
40:01
The joy was all mine.
40:02
I cannot wait to share this with people.
40:04
So thank you.
40:05
Thank you.
