Full Transcript
0:00
Welcome to the Fully Expressed Podcast with Karenna.
0:03
This is the show where we have conversations and discussions that are here to invite you into your fullest expression and what that really means in your life, relationships and business.
0:13
And today is going to be such a beautiful conversation one because I know the juiciness that we’re going to dive into the conversation.
0:20
But also because I have a really dear friend of mine on here with us today, my dear friend Ken Montgomery is on with us and just to give you a little bit of light in how I met Carrie, we met through a different program that we both took.
0:33
I think back in 2022 which is crazy to think about.
0:37
I almost think it’s like 2022 going into 2023 was when we ended, it was just wild and we instantly connected, I think throughout the program, but primarily the region streets and I really want to talk about that.
0:49
It’s like the in person part of this program was probably where I made a lot of my connections.
0:55
And I felt like with Carrie, like being in the room with her.
0:58
I was instantly drawn.
0:59
I loved her wisdom.
1:01
She has been in this world end to end.
1:04
And I feel like I constantly get to learn from her.
1:06
So I’m so excited that you guys get to experience her.
1:09
So I’ll let her introduce yourself.
1:11
Hi, Carrie.
1:12
Thank you.
1:14
It’s just so amazing.
1:16
Thank you so much for being here.
1:17
Yeah, I mean, life is a journey, right?
1:21
Literally, I was raised to think that it was like a very linear like stage by stage process that, you know, you graduated college and then you’d meet the man and then you would have the kids and, and like, my life just didn’t happen that way, like at all and it was chaotic and it was stressful and it was messy and it was painful and I had to like learn.
1:44
Yeah.
1:45
Yeah.
1:46
I, I entered into like the healing space at 18 years old after I had breath in my back and had to have a major surgery and I was so devastated from it that I moved to a spiritual community.
1:58
I couldn’t go to college.
1:59
I just was like, not on board.
2:02
I couldn’t sit in the class.
2:03
I couldn’t, I was like completely lost focus when I was already like an alternative artist type.
2:09
So then you’d like put this kind of trauma into their life and I was like, literally was living on another planet.
2:16
And so I moved to a spiritual community and I didn’t know that this, it’s like now I get to learn new things about you on this call.
2:24
Like I feel like I’ve learned so much about you because you have so many amazing stories.
2:28
And like I said, I think wisdom is the best thing and experience.
2:32
But I had no idea that you went to a spiritual community at like 19 years old.
2:38
Wow.
2:39
My friend said to me the other day, you’re like a Lexus on, oh my God.
2:43
Shit’s creek because you’re like, and then I was in Abu Dhabi or so I like had just that I was like, I was like, I jumped on one of those like metal horses in Abu Dhabi and she was like, who are you?
2:56
So, yeah, I was raised by a family that travels a lot.
2:59
I was raised internationally.
3:00
My dad worked a lot in the Middle East.
3:02
So we just, we just didn’t like there were, the world had no borders and all people were open and welcome.
3:12
And that meant I was exposed to some pretty bad people and then I was exposed to some pretty great people, you know.
3:18
Yeah, but it’s a gift because I can go anywhere in the world and one, I always know someone and two, I know how to navigate like anything, you know, like I can just do it.
3:31
And so it’s created a real sense of independence in me just to go back to the healing journey.
3:37
You know, after that surgery, I really committed to my healing in this lifetime and I didn’t have the knowledge of like intergenerational trauma.
3:45
But I had the wisdom of I want to heal for my whole family.
3:51
Like I wanna heal this line.
3:53
I know that there is some disea in my family and I want, I want to do that for the generations and I’d be ahead of me and I just knew that and I like, put a tattoo on my foot and it was more about like the lifetime and the life cycles.
4:08
And so that was my commitment at 18 years old.
4:11
And I’ve just been fulfilling that and like, also trying to be like a normal human being, surviving, having a career, being responsible, being totally irresponsible at the same time, you know, after I lived at Findhorn, and that’s a whole epic journey.
4:29
That’s like a podcast in itself very empowering.
4:31
I say, I came back to America and I drove across America with this guy.
4:36
We rock climbed and it was like fun and weird.
4:39
I moved to Santa Fe New Mexico and I called my parents and I was like, ok, I moved there to learn to teach Pilates because my back pain was so bad that I just like, I needed to do something to keep my body knitted together.
4:54
And so I called my parents and I was like, ok, I get this life thing like holy should I, I need to go to college.
5:00
Like I need an education, I get it.
5:02
And so they had moved to Maine.
5:04
So I came back to Maine and I started like doing school in Boston and I went to school for film and I really wanted to tell story first.
5:11
It was acting and performance.
5:13
So I got in for her performance and then, you know, I got all this training and I was like, I don’t, I can’t handle the scrutiny of the camera, like how people treat you.
5:22
I just don’t, I don’t have it like, I don’t have it in me.
5:26
It’s such a harsh industry and I just didn’t, I didn’t have the internal like fortitude to do that fight in this life.
5:35
I was already fighting for my body every day.
5:37
The pain cycles were so intense and still are, but I know how to manage them better now.
5:42
And you know, I got into the film industry, like met a ton of celebrities worked in Hollywood, then moved back to New Mexico to run the film union there.
5:52
And, you know, I was like the height of the industry, like I was like running New Mexico film industry and like bringing it back to life with this whole rebate program with my boss and with the governor and just really like creating opportunity and safety for the laborers in that union.
6:11
And like making sure I ask a question about what was that energy, like, you know, to be like the person in New Mexico, like, kind of leading way that I was so young.
6:22
I had no clue.
6:24
And that, that I had, I was, like, 24 years old.
6:26
I was making no money.
6:28
I was still teaching Pilates and I was still, you know, like doing all the things and I just had a lot of, like, I’m not enough my running through me.
6:36
And so I did what I do really?
6:38
Well, I ran, I was like, I’m gonna move back to New York.
6:42
I was born in New York.
6:43
So I was born in New York, grew up in London and then we moved around a lot since then.
6:48
And I like, literally was like, I’m just gonna run towards opportunity and I took like a very like open mentality of like, I’m gonna just, it’s gonna happen, I’m gonna manifest it.
7:00
And I had so many relationships in New Mexico that I just kind of left behind and it’s a big regret.
7:06
Like I, I walked away from some real opportunity and, but I was young, I didn’t get it.
7:12
I didn’t get it and I was panicked.
7:14
Like none of the things that happened at work that I wasn’t really comfortable with.
7:18
I didn’t really know how to digest or even though I was in therapy that we, I was just still dealing with my lack, not the, the situations that were coming up.
7:26
And I you know, there wasn’t a lot of,, safety or a job, I would say that against sense.
7:33
So a lot of eat those when you’re ok with creatives then the ers, but like, energetically, like, you know, I met Cate Blanchett and it was like, hi.
7:43
And it was just a total, like, energetic match.
7:45
I went ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
7:47
And so I had no ability to see or receive my power.
7:52
Right?
7:52
Like, I couldn’t see what people saw in me at all and I was actually afraid of what they saw in me.
7:58
And so I ran, yeah, I was, like, really afraid I was like, what are they talking about?
8:02
What are they looking at?
8:03
Why are they?
8:04
I totally was, like, defensive with it.
8:06
Oh, I resonate to that.
8:08
Yeah.
8:09
Yeah, it’s crazy.
8:10
Right.
8:11
No.
8:11
Yeah, there is a moment for me, like, in, at least in my corporate job, you know, the, the legal world.
8:16
Like, when I first came to the part, there was this one moment where everywhere these conferences are, like, well, I know Kenna, like, almost like this.
8:25
Like, I don’t know, pride or, like, proud of themselves that they knew me.
8:29
And I was like, why do you, why are you saying that?
8:31
I was like, wait, I’m not OK, like, no, I’m, I’m humble.
8:35
I don’t know.
8:35
That’s too much like, it was a lot and I didn’t know how to, I didn’t know how to receive it.
8:41
I didn’t know how to be with that.
8:43
And also, like, parts of me weren’t necessarily looking for that, but people were making that.
8:47
I don’t know, like it was an interesting, like, not knowing how to be in it or receive it, having capacity to hold your own power.
8:55
I mean, that’s what I’ve come to learn and yeah, that’s what I’ve been working on, you know, and that’s how I got really deep into nervous system work.
9:02
So like fast forward in New York for 10 years, like got out of the film industry, got went through some really major health cycles, like almost died a couple of times.
9:12
And then I retrained and went into sales because I was like, I’m gonna, you know, tell story for companies, right?
9:20
And like, I know how to tell stories.
9:22
So I’m gonna tell story companies and it was great, but it also like, it just, I just like, don’t like working for the man, you know, I don’t like being told what to do.
9:35
And and I also, I was working in the health care field but integrative health care.
9:40
So it was like teaching doctors, lifestyle medicine to reverse chronic illness.
9:44
I’ve gone into like high end resort real estate had a project in Maui and which we sold like 100 and 76 million in a, in one day at a relaunch construction.
9:55
Well, I mean, and, but it was during the 2008, 29.
10:00
And so we didn’t get paid a whole crazy to work really hard and then be like, hey, I’m just going to put my tail between my legs and yeah.
10:10
Wow.
10:11
So yeah, going into sales and telling stories for company, I just felt like this is great and doing it in integrated health care.
10:20
I could kind of like integrate some of my physical health journey and from the back surgery, best born until I was like 38.
10:30
I’m 47.
10:31
Now.
10:32
I had like 10 surgeries on my ovaries and uterus because of the interference of the metal rocks.
10:39
And so my cycle was really bad.
10:41
I was anemic all the time, hemorrhaging.
10:43
Like I just, I was completely drained all the time.
10:46
And the only way I tried alternative routes, like no one could restore balance in my body.
10:52
And you know, I’m deeply committed to my healing journey.
10:56
So I would take breaks from working and be like, OK, I’m just gonna spend the next six months like on healing and like literally do that and it would work.
11:04
But the minute I hit a stress response or a stress cycle, I had, I just would literally melt down again.
11:09
And I saw this pattern and I was like, this just is not sustainable, like this is not OK.
11:15
And when I left my job in New York City in integrated health care, I was very sick and I was having episodic paralysis collapsing, like in the street, paralyzed for like eight hours at a time, my clients that were doctors would like, let me lay in their beds, their free beds in their office until I would be able to move again.
11:34
And they’d give me like hydration like ivs and stuff while I just like to recover.
11:39
And it was freaking scary.
11:42
Like my parents found me on the side of the road once because like, I drive my car like very scary and I became really afraid of my comedy.
11:51
And then I almost died and I was like, holy.
11:55
It’s like, what?
11:56
And it was, I almost died in the launch of my new business as a coach coming out as like a business coach and a lifestyle coach, like, you know, passionate rebel lifestyle, like leading the charge.
12:08
And in my first launch, I was dying and that’s how I created the somatic styling process.
12:13
And that was really cultivating energy and presence and using the somatics that I learned over the years of my healing journey, understanding how to map the body.
12:24
What I didn’t know is that that was all about building like autonomic awareness inside the nervous system.
12:31
And like, I was already doing things without the real scientific knowledge, which I found fascinating that I like intuitively just did the stuff and was teaching it and, and but really from a spiritual soulful place, you know, like this is how you cultivate presents.
12:47
And I was using my acting trainings and all my like performance trainings to help people cultivate presents and then all my healing to like work on their energy and all these things.
12:57
And, and then using a very somatic process to apply clothing, like really dress for your energy.
13:03
And that last surgery when I was 38 I, I lost my ability to have Children and I just was devastated.
13:11
And so about two years later, I just, I ran again.
13:15
I was like, I’m a, not all my friends are having babies and I can’t.
13:19
And I moved to Spain.
13:20
I was like, I’m gonna move to an island in Spain.
13:22
I think it’s like, there’s not gonna be a lot of kids there.
13:25
My first friend got herself pregnant by herself.
13:29
It was like our first friend date and she’s like, I’m having a glass of wine and she’s like having tea and she’s like, I’m pregnant and I was like, you have got to be busy.
13:41
It was funny how life is.
13:42
Like you’re going to keep running, but then I’m just going to keep showing you go there you are and where you’re running from, it’s going to show up.
13:52
And so I just, I really did move there to learn to relax though.
13:56
Like I wanted to be in a culture that could just down regulate me.
14:01
Yeah.
14:01
So it sounds, it’s so interesting, like, as you shared your story one.
14:04
Thank you so much for telling everyone all of that because I think it’s, it’s more real than we know that’s happening to other people, you know, just like, I mean, your story specifically is very unique to yours.
14:15
But this like search for regulation like this like, oh I’m going to work hard, I’m gonna take six months off, you know, or like, I’m going to go run and I’m gonna do something else.
14:23
And I’m so curious, like looking back, maybe like, as you look back to like the parts of you that were constantly dysregulated because we’re gonna be talking a lot about like nervous system regulation.
14:33
What were the patterns that were keeping you dysregulated?
14:36
You know?
14:37
And then you’d go to like, oh, I can’t do life anymore.
14:39
I got to do six months of healing and then I go back into it and then it got to a point where like you were really, really sick.
14:44
Like, what was the thing that kept you in that?
14:48
All right.
14:48
Quickly jumping in here to drop a couple of live tips for you because I think they’re so necessary when I was healing from burnout, started paying attention to my energy levels, did all these things.
15:01
But the one thing that has changed life and has been more progress than anything else has been not drinking coffee when I’m tired.
15:14
So what does it actually mean?
15:15
It means I go rest I close my eyes.
15:20
I take a quick nap.
15:21
I wake up from that nap and I feel energized to tackle.
15:25
The next thing I gained back so much of my energy from that quick little nap.
15:30
Instead of overextending myself, harming my adrenals and doing all these other things that are not great for me and my hormones and can show up for the world.
15:39
It has been the biggest life hack and this doesn’t have to necessarily be a nap.
15:45
It can go be, go for a walk, go ride a bike or get outside, go do something different but do not drink the coffee.
15:52
Listen to your body.
15:55
Yeah, I look at emotions as like buckets.
15:58
And if you like if you think of your whole body as a bucket, right?
16:01
And then all of a sudden you hit this threshold and the buckets spilling over.
16:05
But then if you start actually look what’s inside that bucket, I really look at what emotions are running your system and, you know, it’s taken me a lot of therapy to learn that I lived in fear, like the amount of fear, not just like feel the fear and do it anyway.
16:25
Right.
16:25
I am talking about forcing toxic blistering, autoimmune fear and I’ve done a lot of deep, deep, deep work on, you know, I know I’ve always known where it stemmed from.
16:37
But I also like, I just thought like, if, you know, you know, but I couldn’t change the pattern of the emotion.
16:43
Yeah.
16:44
Right.
16:44
And even just so magically getting it out, it still came back.
16:47
I would still get triggered.
16:48
Right.
16:49
And I couldn’t, I couldn’t rewire myself and like, I’m like, aware of all this healing stuff.
16:54
Like I’m aware of like you can be and what you can do and I’m like, I can’t fucking get there.
17:01
What is wrong with me?
17:03
So then it plays this other story that I’m broken right over and over and then the evidence stacks on top and then it’s like this thing inside my head is like, see, you know, the playing the lawyer.
17:14
Yeah.
17:14
And it’s like the feedback loop of like, yeah, see you can, you can’t do it whatever.
17:19
And I wonder, I mean, that’s I can totally relate and I think I understand that like people getting stuck in their self awareness loops and then you get to the next stage of like, oh now I see my emotions playing their role.
17:30
OK?
17:30
I’m gonna try somatic.
17:31
So I’m going to try and release my fear, but it’s still coming up.
17:35
Yeah.
17:35
And so because of my chronic pain and having these metal rods in my back and the things that have happened to my body, I have incredible awareness of what’s going on inside my body.
17:48
So it’s called interception.
17:49
I really understand and sometimes my interception is triggered, right?
17:55
It’s like on hypervigilance, high, high, high alert and it’s like actually, it’s mis communicating and misfiring too at the same time.
18:04
But because I was an athlete growing up a gymnast or horseback rider or a diver, I have really strong proprioception.
18:10
So I understand like where I am in space and how I relate to my body in space.
18:15
And so in a lot of those healing cycles, I would have moments where I would lose my set, my proprioception and I would really be like, what is going on here?
18:25
Like, I’m really disconnected.
18:27
Like a thing that I would always come back to is movement, therapies, Pilates, yoga, Gyrotonic, just even walking, right?
18:37
Some sort of physical movement that allowed me to know that like my feet were on the ground still.
18:43
And I wasn’t like living in this movie of my trauma, the things that had happened to me and the things that I wasn’t even aware that had happened to me.
18:51
So like a lot of the surgeries, you know, now I’ve had 14 surgeries and I’ve learned that like the anesthesia can really mess with your sleep cycle and it really can like run your body even when you don’t want to.
19:04
So if I wake up in the middle of the night, like coursing with fear, it’s actually like a fear response from my body being paralyzed, medically induced, right?
19:15
And I just having so much more compassion for the states of my body that it goes into because it’s, it’s doing it based on a, a response to what’s happened to it.
19:25
Yeah.
19:26
Can you, you can see Cusco in the background.
19:28
They all, if you see the video, you always know Cusco is behind.
19:33
But I think, yeah, when you told me about that with the surgeries piece and like being under anesthesia, like I was really aware about that, like going into my own surgery recently.
19:43
But like you’ve had, you said 14, I thought I had 19 surgeries and 14 surgeries.
19:48
I understand anesthesia 19.
19:50
And you know, it makes sense.
19:52
You know, we’re in a state where things are happening to our bodies, but we’re not giving it permanent in a way, right?
19:58
We’re almost like completely taken out and I cannot believe.
20:02
And it’s what I think it’s beautiful about your journey is that you’ve been able to see how these things click together.
20:08
But we, you weren’t aware that these things were playing a role in how they were showing up until you got the answers to them.
20:14
And like I, I would say, like I’ve spent almost 30 years studying, being a student and a teacher of the body in multiple different capacities.
20:24
And whenever I was still working in like a sales space, I was still kind of doing something with the body.
20:30
You know, I just, that’s because it was part of my commitment and like the the body really tells the story and we’re not taught that in life, right?
20:40
Like we’re taught to think we’re since I’m just cerebral society and there I see such a beautiful movement for embodiment right now.
20:47
And to really understand your own presence and to understand like this beautiful human technology that we have.
20:58
Like there’s a, I used to hold things against science because I was mad at medicine for what it had done to me.
21:04
And I now am like, wow, but like we’re seeing like biop photons and like the nervousness, like we’re seeing so many different things come forward that will help us operate more freely, efficiently, more filled with joy, more expression and like less attachment to this is how it has to work, right?
21:28
It’s more like there’s so much potential inside our body.
21:33
How do we like maximize this and go further and explore more?
21:37
I’d love to know more about that because I love what you just said, the body is the story, you know, or the answers are in the body.
21:43
They really are though.
21:45
And in a lot of my work, we do body stories because it’s like, what is your body actually telling you?
21:50
And it’s a whole mapping system and it brings consciousness to how you’re responding.
21:57
Yeah.
21:57
And how can someone do that?
21:59
Like start that process almost, you know, like really starting to be like, like I think you hear that, you know, your listen to your body.
22:07
And I would say for so many years, you know, for so many years.
22:10
I was like, sure I am listening to my body.
22:12
What do you mean?
22:13
And then, you know, something different had to click.
22:15
I’m like, oh, this is what you mean by listening to my body.
22:20
And I wonder if you have any like, shares on how you got there or like, how could someone get there?
22:25
Because there is a awareness, like, logically we can say like, yeah, our body speaks to us but there is a whole different thing when you’re actually living from the body.
22:34
Yeah.
22:34
Well, I want to hear what you like where your aha was like what I vividly remember at the Phoenix bath at the retreat.
22:43
It was so interesting.
22:44
I was in a season of my life where I was, I was recovering from burnout, things were crazy.
22:49
You know, I didn’t have a lot to do and we did, we did, I felt like on that retreat, we did a lot, but we didn’t do a lot like we learned a lot, but we did even more like meditation, shaking things out moving.
23:02
And I remember texting Nick and I was like, holy cow.
23:06
My body is hurting like I was just like, I didn’t realize that my lower back hurt so much or my my neck was hurting or that I was genuinely so tired and it was so funny at that moment in that retreat that we did.
23:18
Like I was asked to slow down but slowing down was the lesson I was learning.
23:23
That was a part of the retreat for me in that moment was like somatic.
23:27
How do I slow down?
23:28
How do I be in my body?
23:29
And then I started to kind of wake up to like, oh, this is what my body has been feeling like and I just haven’t been in it.
23:37
It’s almost like I was completely living in this disassociation of like running adrenaline, like aliveness comes from go, go, go.
23:48
And the minute that I slowed down it was like, holy cow, my body is hurting.
23:52
My body ain’t happy.
23:53
She’s tired.
23:54
She needs rest, she needs to stretch.
23:57
Oh my God.
23:57
There were so many, I mean, really for me, I just wasn’t so aware of how much in pain I was until I slowed down.
24:05
And that’s like also part of the restorative process, like slowing down is one of the most important things to do in our world.
24:12
I just, I think we live in a clip that is, it’s amazing and it’s a bit too much, right?
24:19
And so like learning how to create rest cycles and to know like our limits and our boundaries is so important so that we get the restorative, like an athlete understands the rest cycle because they want their muscle recovery so they can go out and do it again.
24:34
And for the most part, the average human is not living for a rest cycle.
24:40
They’re like in full survival mode.
24:42
And I get it like I’ve been there, you know, I was an athlete and then I went into like major medical meltdown and then I went into survival mode and it was like, I felt forced to have to do things to survive, take jobs, make money, not live in my purpose.
24:57
Keep going worse myself from how I was feeling.
24:59
Just keep going.
25:00
You got to just fill up the bank account, like, keep going, keep going and then the joy factor just disappears completely.
25:07
And then you’re like, well, let’s have a drink because that’s easier.
25:11
Or we find these other ways to, to and drop us down.
25:14
Yeah.
25:15
Yeah.
25:15
And then you just suppress it.
25:17
And so then you’re like, oh, I’m just gonna suppress that.
25:18
I’m gonna push that down.
25:19
I’m gonna push that down.
25:20
So I look at it like some people are suppressors and some people are express.
25:24
So, you know how those people have like that wild fire or anger, those are express and then the suppressors were the one that just keeps and then they’ll have their one huge explosion every six months, 36, whatever it is for their cycle.
25:36
But like, I definitely, I’m a suppressor.
25:39
Like I’m like, everything’s good.
25:41
Everything looks good.
25:42
I’m just gonna, like, I’m gonna hold this, I’m gonna hold it.
25:44
Yeah, I can do this.
25:45
I can do this and like, of course I want to be good.
25:48
But like in the background over the years, I wasn’t good and I was physically not good.
25:53
So just to go back to your question around, like, how do people do this?
25:57
And like, how do they start to learn?
25:59
There’s something called autonomic awareness.
26:01
So we, we have a nervous system, there’s a part that just operates on its own, right?
26:08
Our autonomic nervous system and that’s like our rest and our parasympathetic is our rest and digest.
26:13
But the part that operates on its own is your saliva, your digestion, your heartbeat, your hormones, all these things that like our bodies magically do their job.
26:24
But then you hit the stress response, right?
26:28
So you hit toxins, environmental toxins, emotions, stress like pain, you name it trauma, all of those things once they start to like load in the body starts to get, we call dysregulated out of sync.
26:44
So I was diagnosed after my surgery at 38 with something called dysautonomia dysregulation of the central nervous system.
26:51
They tried to give me a pill, didn’t work.
26:54
I tried to do a r aholic but so got this information.
26:59
You know, it must have been like nine years ago and I was like, OK, like I can just do yoga, I can just like, I can just do these things.
27:07
And in my somatic styling process, I created body mapping.
27:12
So really associating the energy of your body, understanding like the chakra system, energy and power that we actually hold inside ourselves.
27:22
That’s actually magic.
27:24
But it’s freaking real, like, it’s very, very real and then the emotions and where we store those emotions and really just like, I mean, I have my clients, like, draw it on, I have a body and I have them draw it on and the colors they see and the things that happen so that they’re physically doing something outside of their brain and putting it on paper in life size.
27:43
We do it like we draw their whole body and then we do it like, you know, all over.
27:47
So and then I go through like the wheel of light and we start telling story and how it associates to the part of the body, to their chakra system.
27:56
So all of a sudden you have this experience, this story, this journey, this pain or this joy, you see the motions and you’re seeing where it’s stored and what that chakra means.
28:08
And all of a sudden you have like a completely rewired view of your own story, but that doesn’t heal the nervous system is what I’ve learned.
28:18
Like I created this unique creative process, right?
28:21
To, to get people dressed, right?
28:24
So they feel more powerful and free and self expressed and like amazing and they become more magnetic like they really, really do because they’re less attached to their story, right?
28:37
But for me, I like even though I do this subconsciously like this is how I survived many years of trauma is dressing this way.
28:48
And I basically that was my recovery from like almost dying and losing my ability to have Children.
28:54
I just analyzed how I got dressed and what I did to energetically like pull myself together to wrap something around me, to protect me, to cover my head up, to protect my head, to wear a flowy dress, to really release that energy to, to so maly embody the sensations that I needed to modulate my presence.
29:14
So I needed to like activate myself.
29:16
I needed to release some energy or if I need to be held together.
29:20
And so that’s so really no, but that’s beautiful.
29:23
I just want to like stop there for a second.
29:25
I think somatic styling is something I definitely think is so beautiful, but it sounds like subconsciously like you dressed yourself in ways that you wanted to feel or that you were currently feel and needed and practical.
29:38
And I’m not like your average stylist, I’m not like, and then this is the latest trend.
29:42
Like I’ve always been anti trends.
29:44
I don’t care.
29:45
And it’s like, what does your body need to be the most effective and powerful as possible?
29:50
But what I learned when I moved to Spain was that I had deep fear and deep anxiety and it was really showing up in many different ways and it was really not OK.
30:01
And I, I got into poly vagal theory.
30:05
I got COVID before we knew what COVID was.
30:07
And I was really sick and it was very scary.
30:10
It was the first time in my life that I felt stopped by everything, like nothing mattered.
30:16
I was completely frozen and also so aware at the same time and I remember it was like Christmas 2019 and I was laying there and I couldn’t pick up the phone and I couldn’t contact anyone and I was just like, I’m giving into that and whatever.
30:33
And I had a friend, like, I was very afraid of being alone and I had a friend, he’s like, we come in alone, we leave alone like it’s ok, you’re gonna be ok.
30:41
You may have to leave sooner than you want, but you’re gonna be alone and I just had to like, make peace with that and coming out of that, I mean, I was, I was very physically and mentally different.
30:54
A lot of fear, a lot of discomfort.
30:57
and I just, I knew there was answers on the nervous system and that information was just coming to me, right?
31:02
Like, you know, when you’re ready, when all of a sudden you’re just being served the information.
31:06
And like, I, I’m an open channel and I’m taking it all.
31:09
I very invested in human design and I’m a 51.
31:13
I also, I’m like incredible researcher, you know, I really should have my phd or hand, but so I’m like a heretic.
31:21
So I like challenge everything I research deeply.
31:24
And then I’m like, let’s create something new.
31:26
Let’s do this differently because it’s actually not working.
31:28
And that is, you know, when I got back to America, I got stuck here because of a medical situation.
31:37
And from having long COVID and a major, I’m not gonna go into it but all intents and purposes.
31:43
My body said you’re not going back to Spain and I had to go through it.
31:47
I had the thing that I said to my family.
31:49
I was like, can I please stay here?
31:51
I really need to feel safe.
31:53
I don’t feel safe anywhere.
31:54
And it was the first time I had admitted to anyone this deep sense of fear and lack of safety.
32:02
And it was such a pinnacle moment for me.
32:06
And they were like, what do you mean you don’t feel sick?
32:08
I’m like, I literally, I’m afraid to leave the house and I had to go through it.
32:14
Like I really, really did.
32:15
My body had been through so much the surgery I had to have.
32:19
It was my 14th surgery and my body was just like we’re not up for that and we got, you have a lot to deal with and it just, it is the immune system, it is the nervous system, it is the medical system is the lack of healing environments available.
32:34
And so I met my mentor Elizabeth Christoph through this process of coming back into America and Frank God said, like she is an angel and, you know, we met at Phoenix Path and we went in and I needed more structure, right?
32:51
Like I’d already been out in the Ethers for a long time and I really needed more structure and I appreciated that program because it like, gave me clear, this is what I need and I had to keep searching.
33:05
And when I found Elizabeth, I, she does something called neuros Somatic Intelligence, which is now what I’m trained and certified in.
33:12
I teach insider program when I say like we need an operating manual for the body.
33:18
This is it like it’s so simple.
33:21
I have been able to step, I’m gonna cry.
33:24
I’ve been able to step out of pattern in my life that I never thought was possible things that I’ve just fall victim to because of reaction and my system was so, you know, we there’s something called neuro exception.
33:36
So like proprioception, interoceptive neuro section is like how fast your brain.
33:41
And if you look at poly vagal theory, you’ll learn more about that.
33:43
But it’s like how fast your brain and body respond to what’s happening.
33:47
And so it’s faster than any thought you’ll ever have because it’s your body responding, your fans can’t even operate that fast, but you can feel that defense, you can feel that shut down like you know what’s happening.
34:00
But our emotions sometimes let us fall victim to those things and I got to learn how to drive that stuff and it was really held by her through things that would normally take me months to recover from.
34:12
And I’d be like, a week later.
34:14
Ok.
34:15
Cool.
34:15
I got that and it’s a little, like when I say rewiring your body, it is completely rewiring your body.
34:24
So I guess my question is, is that actually really possible to, like, completely rewire?
34:29
I mean, it sounds like it is based off what you said, right?
34:32
Like I think it’s really beautiful and you know, it sounds like it’s on a different level of rewiring.
34:38
So people think like you see, oh my my new word for this year is reprogram, rewire and they’re, they’re meditating, they’re, they’re reading more books, they’re becoming more logically aware of things.
34:51
And what you’re physically talking about is the actual experience that is happening internally from like I don’t know the right word to say, but from what you said, it’s like situation thought happens, both body immediately reacts before the thought even happens, right?
35:08
And we are aware of that.
35:10
And so it’s a, it’s a different, you’re not using your brain for thoughts, right?
35:13
So if people lean on thoughts as a way to rewire their mind or subsequent, yeah, we want to make sense of it.
35:20
Yeah.
35:21
And in this, it’s like so much of like, how can I rewire this?
35:26
I know this people aren’t seeing me on the video, maybe your body.
35:29
Yeah.
35:30
So like when you’re doing neuros, somatics, it’s applied to neurology, neuropsychology, Somatics and Vegas, right?
35:37
So you’re working in those four arenas and you’re literally going OK, this emotions activated?
35:44
Cool.
35:44
So what happened?
35:45
OK.
35:45
This is the feeling in my body.
35:47
OK.
35:48
I, so I’ll give like a very clear, simple example.
35:52
Yep.
35:53
So I still teach Pilates.
35:54
Yep.
35:54
And one, I have a male client and one day and I just teach like six hours a week.
36:00
It’s really good for my brain and my body to do it.
36:02
One day this client, he, we finished the session, he walked towards me and I went into full fight or flight of like what the fuck does he want for me?
36:11
And he was just walking to get his phone like he was just walking past me.
36:15
The proximity was like a little close and I was like, and I went into panic, right?
36:19
And I could have then been dysregulated in that panic for hours or days on end.
36:26
And I instantly, it was like, whoa, like you just were really afraid.
36:31
Ok, let’s do some Vegas Star deep compression.
36:34
Ok?
36:34
Let’s, let’s just spend some time shaking out the fear, ok?
36:38
Like I could rally, walk through the sensation and move it out of my body so that I could be a clear channel again and available for the people around me.
36:47
But otherwise if you’re not a clear channel you’re just living in reaction.
36:51
You literally are just one reaction after the next.
36:56
And that was a lot of my life because I was, I was so filled with fear that like I couldn’t respond to people.
37:04
I mean, I, you know, I got good at responding but it also felt performative at times because I had this deep pain inside me.
37:10
Yeah, I hear that.
37:11
And it’s, I mean, what you just walk through in that sample sounds so simple, but it’s not that simple.
37:17
It’s wild.
37:18
You know, like in our day to day today, like we are constantly reacting.
37:22
There is some kind of a trigger like our systems are, I look at them as like our systems are constantly scanning the room.
37:28
I mean, like how can I protect myself, you know, in a way and these triggers come in and that’s so much faster than we think.
37:35
And then we’re in this whole experience and some people live in this experience for days, for weeks, they can’t shake it out and you were able to do it second minute hour, which is incredible because people live in these States all the days and the years go shopping.
37:54
Yeah.
37:55
Spoon use all these other ways to kind of get a dopamine hit.
37:59
Yeah.
38:00
To shift it back.
38:01
Yeah.
38:02
Like all of it.
38:03
Yeah.
38:03
And so, and I had seen that like addictive cycle in my life like I’ve been sober, I’ve had sex addiction like I’ve done all, like, I’ve had a eating disorder.
38:11
Like I’ve had all these things that are quote unquote disordered in our world.
38:15
You start to look at everything.
38:17
So I say that like I have a nervous system in informed practice, I look at every human being through the lens of the nervous system.
38:25
And so I’m like, oh, are they in fight or flight?
38:27
Are they fawning right now or like, oh, they’re super frozen.
38:30
My compassion compass is so big now.
38:34
I don’t have issues with people.
38:36
I’m just like, or if I’m triggered, I’m like, hey, I’m triggered.
38:39
I just want to take care of myself and then can we have a conversation?
38:42
But I also can be like my God, they’re like, really?
38:45
I think that’s one of the most beautiful gifts of learning this work really is because it more people knew this, did this our world.
38:54
We would not have war later even though it’s a freaking huge billion dollar industry.
39:01
And I was at dinner last night with like number 20 defense and I was like, why am I eat dinner right now?
39:07
Like what is happening?
39:08
I mean, it’s diversity of the world.
39:10
Like you need to know lots of people and there’s goods and bads.
39:13
Yeah.
39:13
But I think to your point like I feel like sometimes when I think about it in that lens, I think about like our world or walking around, everyone’s just triggering off each other.
39:21
Like people are just running off each other and bouncing off each other.
39:23
Reacting, reacting, reacting, reacting, reacting, reacting, reacting like the entire time.
39:28
The way I see it is like these like electronic balls, we’re just running into each other all day.
39:34
Like so let’s just talk about the human energetic field.
39:37
So the institute, so anyone who wants to just go Google Heart Math Institute and look at the Taurus Taurs or it’s not, it’s not spelled the same way as the Taurs, not the zodiac sign.
39:50
You can also send me the link Dylan.
39:51
I’ll put it, it’ll be a lot easier know how to spell anymore.
39:56
Oh, dyslexic, not there.
40:00
So anyway, it’s a donut.
40:01
Basically there.
40:03
Our energetic field is a big, our central vessel is the whole of the donut.
40:07
And you have like spiral, not spiral links coming out and around.
40:11
And like every day, I literally use my hands to work with my tourists to work with my energetic field so that I’m contained, I’m like, oh, I feel it right.
40:24
I’m not going to say everyone knows what an aura is, but for the most part, people understand like let’s to say you’re standing in front of someone who’s really angry and you get closer to them and you can feel their anger, right?
40:37
And you can feel it as palpable or let’s just do this.
40:40
So everyone listening to this, take your two hands and just start them far away.
40:45
So, like 5 ft away or maybe you might not be that tall.
40:49
So, 3 ft away.
40:51
I love this.
40:52
This is a really good, yeah.
40:54
And then start to bring your hands closer together and stop when you feel them energetically.
41:02
So there’s gonna be a force field and just go very slow and as they start to come together you’re gonna all of a sudden feel a little bit of a reverberation of bounce back.
41:13
That’s your energetic field.
41:15
And if it’s really small, it could be like closer together, right?
41:19
It’s there.
41:20
So just work on that, like understanding like feeling that in yourself.
41:25
So just playing with your Taurus and understanding there is this energetic field.
41:29
And so if you’re in a room with a lot of people, all of your tauruses are intertwined, right?
41:33
They’re working around each other and you’re looping in.
41:37
And so we are connected literally.
41:40
Yeah, literally.
41:41
And our nervous systems because like the nervous system literally takes all racism out of things.
41:48
It takes all contrast out of things because we all have a nervous system and it’s actually equal.
41:54
Everyone’s nervous system responds differently based on their trauma or in their history, but we all have a nervous system and it’s the same.
42:02
And so when you start to feel someone else, you’re feeling their system, you’re not just feeling them, you’re really feeling their system.
42:12
You ever been around someone that’s like super hyper vigilant and it gets you kind of, like, uncomfortable.
42:16
That’s their nervous system, like, basically dis regulating you.
42:21
Oh, yeah.
42:22
Right.
42:22
There’s people you’re like, I don’t want to be around them like that doesn’t feel good.
42:25
That’s their system deregulating you and you going, that’s too much for me.
42:29
It’s almost like, you know, and you are really calm and grounded and you didnt feel like someone comes in rushed and fiery and da, da, da, da, da, da da.
42:36
Like you feel like you’re like, whoa, well, that’s a lot, you know, it’s like I’m not there.
42:41
But you can also feel like to your point like when someone’s really angry and like they’re boiling inside but they’re not talking about it and you’re like some things are tense, something’s off.
42:52
Yeah, but you can just, you’re to your point, you can feel that and I thank you so much for walking all of us through that exercise because it really puts depth and feeling to what you’re describing that is around us every day.
43:06
Yeah, it’s simple and it gives us context for what might be happening.
43:10
And like some people are like, how can you be around that person?
43:13
I’m like, because I have so much compassion for them like I understand them and like, I’m not taking on their stuff anymore.
43:20
I have a clear boundary, right?
43:22
And I can also like walk away to an agency to say like, and I’m over like this is done.
43:28
But some people don’t understand my capacity to be around certain people.
43:32
And I’m like, I don’t know, I love you.
43:34
I want to ask that question though.
43:35
Do you think it’s possible?
43:36
I mean, I’m asking you the question and like, is it possible for someone to build capacity to be around things like to hold different emotions?
43:45
Right.
43:45
So it’s one thing that we get affected by emotions.
43:48
But do you think it’s possible to be like, oh, I have the capacity to be in this emotion and you no longer affect me in the same way you did before?
43:56
Yeah.
43:57
So that actually the whole purpose, right?
43:59
Because working with your nervous system is 100% about building capacity.
44:03
Like why else are you really doing it?
44:06
But then to like have a better experience in what you’re doing in the world or how you’re showing up or how you’re engaging and like everything is about relationship, it’s about the relationship with yourself, relationship with other people and these emotions are part of who you are and when one is so big, we have to learn how to move it through us and out or get support with it, right?
44:32
Co regulate.
44:33
But the more you like that threshold moment, right?
44:36
Where you, you there’s too much going on, there’s too much that’s filled the bucket the that’s in there more time we’ll have to like clean this stuff up.
44:44
Right.
44:45
Right.
44:45
But the goal is to build capacity to actually, like, I’m actually sending this email to my list tomorrow about how like capacity was the, the one thing that I knew that I needed that I didn’t have.
44:58
And it was coming out of having COVID one, you know, an early adopter of COVID and really having my body pretty destroyed already having autoimmune stuff.
45:06
I was, I was really affected by it and I kept saying like, I need to build capacity.
45:12
I hired a capacity coach like, you know, like, but didn’t, I couldn’t do it until I understood my nervous system and what was triggering it?
45:22
And like now I literally, I can be in a conversation with someone that would like historically trigger the fuck out of me and I would yell back, right?
45:32
And my response is, do you really want to speak to me that way?
45:34
Like can we try this another way?
45:36
I am like who?
45:38
It’s like what?
45:40
Because I know myself as like fight or flight, right?
45:42
Like I just know like a drama, chaos like Strat and and yet I can like put on good composure and then I can like get fucking angry too and and so to then all of a sudden have this other presence show up in me from literally having like a not a crazy long nervousness practice daily, but like being committed to the process, right?
46:04
Like 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there triggered.
46:07
OK.
46:08
Do five minute drills and these are drills.
46:10
We’re not like, I don’t need to do a whole long, so bad.
46:13
I bla bla bla, bla bla bla thing.
46:15
Like, because I don’t, I don’t have a lot of patience for it anymore because I’ve been in it for so long that I’m like, it’s sure every once in a while I love a great workshop.
46:22
I like a deep dive.
46:23
But on a daily practice, like, no, I need it like, yeah.
46:27
And to the point and so doing these neuros somatic drills, I have a whole, you know, there’s like there’s 53 basic ones and then there’s like 100 and hundreds really.
46:36
But you understand like you’re checking with your body if you’re building capacity or if you’re decreasing capacity because we have rotational assessments.
46:44
And so the assessment was tell you, oh, this one has challenged your capacity today.
46:49
Let’s go do a rescue drill.
46:51
And so then I have a whole bucket of rescue drills.
46:53
It’s like very well resourced.
46:55
It’s very clear that my body will respond positively because I’ve built this bucket of resources from practicing them.
47:03
And I know that there are positive responses, but I have real vestibular damage from having viruses, injuries, accidents.
47:11
Like I was in a major boating accident right before New Year’s 2000.
47:15
I didn’t know I really had damaged myself until I started to learn more about this in the vestibular system.
47:20
And I was like, oh my God, that’s actually what happened.
47:23
And so now I get to really work on my vestibular system, which is a passive threat that’s happening to me all the time that I didn’t even know was actually creating anxiety, but like I’m feeling it all the time and so there’s just this heightened state and until I can take down that threat, I won’t get to that sense of peace.
47:41
And like all I want is peace, right?
47:43
I know that that’s my life’s mission is to feel peace.
47:46
And so when you start to find the drills and the tools that work for you and then you can practice them and know like positive response, positive response challenge.
47:56
Ok, let’s do this.
47:57
Let’s do a positive one.
47:59
Do the challenge, one, do another positive one.
48:00
You bracket it and you’re like, oh, I feel safe, my body feels safe.
48:04
I feel safe and I feel safe for the first time in my life.
48:07
What I realized is that I never felt safe given my childhood and that the places we moved and like just how, how much moving around we did.
48:15
I was exposed and not badly.
48:17
Like it wasn’t horrible stuff.
48:19
It just was, I was exposed to some and for my own system, I didn’t feel safe.
48:24
And that’s the i that me, my parents could ever understand.
48:27
That’s not, that’s not knowledge, right?
48:29
And now that you’re in this state, it’s like safety.
48:31
And by the way, those drills are so good.
48:34
I love that.
48:35
They just like little snippets, which obviously people can come find more information and like, learn that from you.
48:41
I’m so curious from this place of safety from this regulated state that you’ve like cultivated in your day to day life and in your nervous system, how, what’s become more available to you and how do you express, like, what’s the difference in your expression?
48:55
I’m very curious, like, how did you express yourself before?
48:58
Compared to like, how you can express yourself today?
49:01
And maybe it’s even just like the energy differences of those.
49:07
I think I love this question.
49:09
I’m gonna say one thing first before I answer the question about like manifestation.
49:15
So you know that like energetic frequency that if you’re in this personal development space and you know, the law of attraction, you’re like, oh, I wanna, I wanna, I want to manifest this in my life, right?
49:26
Like, and I didn’t know that like actually just really need to manifest safety in my body and like, that’s actually what I needed to work on to then be able to be available for the things that I desired.
49:38
And I in this journey of healing and pain and suffering, like kind of lost the magic for a lot of the personal development stuff.
49:47
I was like, I’m calling BS on all of it.
49:49
Like it’s just a sales tactic and in a regulated state, you become available for the most seismically shifting quantum experiences.
50:01
That so yeah.
50:03
And so it’s so wild because it completely changes how you operate.
50:09
It completely changes how you communicate.
50:11
It completely changes how you engage with people.
50:14
My self trust is so much greater than it ever has been.
50:17
And that was something that I broke as a child.
50:19
And so I spent a lot of time trying to repair that and, and then, you know, after the surgery, like, just so many times I’ve tried to repair it and I’ve broken it and repair and when you live in a regulated nervous system, you know how to repair it really fast and actually just listen to it and you trust it, right?
50:35
And so I can share vulnerably without shame.
50:39
Like I can share this whole crazy journey without being ashamed of it in the past.
50:44
When I would do podcast interviews in the past, I would, I just would walk away with so much toxic shame for the things that had happened to me, which really meant that I was like, exposing myself, not actually being vulnerable, right?
50:58
Like, and I think I really misunderstood the vulnerability movement by like just telling your story, like, no, you’re totally like opening up an open wound.
51:08
And so I think there’s multiple aspects to when you’re regulated, you know, your boundaries, you know what you’re available for, you know, it works for you and how you wanna be treated, you know how to ask for what you need.
51:24
And it’s not dramatic.
51:25
It’s like this is just kind of a fact like this is, this is it.
51:29
And I’d say there’s less drama and less chaos, clear boundaries, there’s so much more aliveness and attraction and chemistry and safety within my friendships because I can call it out.
51:43
I can be like, hey, I’m not feeling safe or like I need support.
51:46
Can you walk me through this?
51:47
Not like, oh my God, this is happening, me and then this guy and that da da, da, da da, you know, it’s like, no, like, hey, this is a sensation in my body and I’m working through it and I’ve regulated, but it’s still kind of there, right?
52:00
Like there’s that will happen.
52:02
Like some things do carry over for a couple of days.
52:04
Like I, I did an amazing breathwork class this morning and it just like popped my heart open and I, I had felt it kind of like constrict down and even though I’d been regulating, like I just needed that extra burst to like come back to the energy that I wanted to be in.
52:20
It’s literally like it’s the definition of know thyself.
52:24
Thank you.
52:24
That was so beautiful.
52:26
I literally like had chills going through my entire body because there’s nothing.
52:31
And I think I’m still constantly learning this for myself, but there’s nothing from that expression that you talk to from like a grounded state, there’s like this space you get to like move into and actually experience the world without your system completely taking over and you could see it and your energy like when you were talking, you got so there’s so much aliveness in regu regulation.
52:54
I don’t have to say it like in regulation and being regulated.
52:57
Well, because there’s safety there, right?
52:59
And there’s trust and those are like the foundations of any relationship.
53:03
And so if you look at your relationship with yourself as like the most paramount relationship there is you have that, then you can figure out the relationship with someone else and then with your money and with your animal, like whatever it is, you can figure those out.
53:18
But it, it’s changed the way I treat people engage with people.
53:22
There was something I wanted to say around the commodification of spirituality and like manifestation, like I’m just gonna manifest a million dollars and I wanna manifest a new home and a new car and da da da.
53:36
And it can really put people in a very dysregulated state.
53:39
And so I’d actually call it like weaponizing spirituality and manifestation trauma, right?
53:46
Because people get into a dysregulated cycle around having dreams and desires and not being able to live into them.
53:54
And they don’t understand why.
53:56
Wow, we need to do another episode on just that holy cow.
54:00
Can we talk about that some more like that is, it’s really crazy.
54:04
And so the, this is so interesting, Carrie, when we look at like wanting something in the world in my experience when you and this is so hard to say because when you’re hurt, it’s hard to be open to the outcome.
54:22
When you’re in fear, it’s hard to be open to the outcome.
54:25
It’s hard to just say like go do this and then let whatever happens happen, right?
54:31
But when you’re regulated, you can literally let go and be open to the outcome because you trust and that actually the outcome doesn’t matter.
54:39
And that’s actually the only success for me is knowing that I’m safe.
54:44
Like that’s the only kind of success that I need.
54:47
Everything else will compound from there.
54:49
Amen.
54:50
Amen.
54:51
This whole concept.
54:53
I mean, I swear there will be another podcast episode on Just Manifestation because I really think like, I think I’m also an advocate like a part of that I’ve experienced that, you know, like, you know, you hear manifest like I’ve, I’ve always thought of manifestation.
55:08
Wow, we talk about this.
55:09
I’m going to try and make this short and sweet so we can wrap this up.
55:12
But like I’ve always thought I was like, be do have, right?
55:15
Like in order to receive the thing, I have to be the thing, right?
55:19
And so I was, you’re constantly striking for this thing that you’re working towards and then let’s say you constantly don’t receive it and you’re just regulating yourself and then there’s this trauma of manipulation.
55:32
Yeah.
55:32
So it’s wild and it’s so true and you are in such a regulated space, like everything else just compounds.
55:39
It just comes in.
55:41
There’s this open availability versus this reaching energy or like I need to do this to save myself or to survive or like I need more money because I need this and that bla bla bla bla wow, we are going to do an episode on just that because that is really, really important.
55:58
And I just see it and it’s so interesting now being on this other side of this cycle, like I see the new generations just drinking the Kool aid if that makes sense.
56:06
Like constantly drinking the Kool aid.
56:09
Yeah.
56:09
And it’s a cycle and I’m like, oh but manifest but an emotions audit to really understand where they’re coming from and look, I was a suppressor.
56:20
So my nature is to stuff it down and not, not deal with it.
56:24
Just don’t, I don’t want to and I just want everything to be ok.
56:29
And I just want the money and I just want the guy and I want the house and the dog and the car and the like who doesn’t want that?
56:35
But that is not security.
56:36
That shit can go away in two fucking minutes.
56:38
I’ve seen it come, I’ve seen it go, I’ve seen it come, I’ve seen it go, I’ve had millions.
56:43
I’ve had nothing like it’s real.
56:45
It’s come and gone.
56:46
The one thing I never had was safety and then, and I had to create that myself.
56:51
I can’t go to someone.
56:53
I mean, I learned the skills and the tools but I had to come and do the practice myself.
56:57
And this gave me agency.
56:58
It gave me sovereignty, it gave me my life so good.
57:03
I’m, I swear I could talk to you for longer.
57:05
Love you so much.
57:06
I love you so much.
57:07
And this is so important for people to hear.
57:11
You know, like I think what you’re talking to this internal safety and internal self trust is the thing that keeps us going in life because everything can get taken away, everything can come your way and everything get taken away tomorrow, right?
57:23
Like it’s practicing the internal safety that gives you the opportunity to continue to evolve as a human, to continue to express it, continue to feel joy to receive, to be open if you’re living in this safety.
57:37
But if you’re constantly holding on, so I was gonna say if you’re constantly holding on to like, oh, I just want to make more money or the more money is going to solve the issue or the minute that I get married, I’m going to feel like in a better relationship and I can be held fully and it’s like those things can shift and change and they are all the time.
57:55
Your safety is your anger anchor is the anchor.
57:59
Yeah.
58:00
You know, I do say often that if I had known these tools 28 years ago when I came out of my surgery, I would have gone through a lot less pain, a lot.
58:11
I would have known how to operate my body.
58:12
I wouldn’t have been afraid of it.
58:14
What’s going on, all the things that I felt that I was going to doctors for it, for help.
58:19
But I was being told I was crazy even though I literally had no red blood cells wild and like this gives you agency so beautiful.
58:29
Yeah, I’m so happy that we have met.
58:33
And also I’m just, I have tears in my eyes just to see your journey because I feel like I caught you at the beginning of finding all these things, you know, and so just like, truly like the last end of it, right?
58:45
Like I wasn’t part you’ve lived so much more life than I have and in the most beautiful way and I’d say like the end of it, but just truly like witnessing you like get to this place of really finding this for you.
58:59
And now that you are now taking that and sharing that with other people and incorporating it into your work.
59:06
Like it’s just so beautiful and thank you so much, I just love you.
59:11
You’re a source of wisdom and just a source of experience I think.
59:15
And I believe like you don’t know anything until you experience it and you’ve experienced it.
59:21
And that’s something that you’re sharing from, which is so incredible.
59:24
I would love for you to share, you know, what is your work today?
59:28
How can someone contact you if they want to or get connected with you and just kind of witness as you continue to share this with leaders with CEO S with people around your world that are learning this for themselves too.
59:42
So I really work with the energetics and the aesthetics.
59:46
So I still do the styling, but I really do it like elegantly.
59:50
So I’m looking at how people lead themselves in the world.
59:54
And so this is, I created a, a product called Elegant Leadership.
59:58
And it is a coaching portal with me, 1 to 1 at this moment.
1:00:02
And it is, it is this work and it is about cultivating your personal brands, not only your image, but the internal self image and the system and how you operate to a new level.
1:00:15
And I work with high performing entrepreneurs and executives.
1:00:19
Actually, both I really enjoy that high level function.
1:00:24
They’re pretty primed and yet there’s really some opportunity to refine and fine tune.
1:00:29
And then I’m launching a sanctuary, an online sanctuary and it’s really very narco system healing and it’s going through within a group people working through your self image, your external image, your personal brand, like how all those things are all together, but really creating an integrated this because I like it is about the journey and the skills compounded are what actually make change in your life.
1:00:58
So it gives you clarity when you do the skills of the drills.
1:01:03
And so, and how can someone find you or can they find you?
1:01:07
two places?
1:01:08
There’s my website Carrie montgomery.com and then Instagram is real Carrie montgomery.com or just RealCarrie.
1:01:16
Yeah, and I’ll put that all in the show notes too.
1:01:18
But thank you.
1:01:20
Thank you.
1:01:20
Thank you so much for this conversation and for sharing your story and for truly bringing like this really important piece to the world, truly, so wonderful to be here.
1:01:32
And thank you everyone for listening and showing up and I look forward to connecting.
1:01:36
Thank you, love you.
