Full Transcript
0:00
Welcome to the fully expressed podcast with Karenna.
0:02
I am your podcast host, Karenna Soto.
0:05
And this is the show where we have conversations that invite you into your fullest expressed self.
0:10
What it means to be fully expressed in life, relationships and business.
0:13
We truly love to have the kinds of conversations that you’re having over dinner with some girlfriends or with just friends.
0:20
And so you’re going to get some real good conversations that teach you, invite you, educate you and provide you tools like truly living a life fully expressed.
0:28
And today’s episode is really special.
0:30
I invited a special guest onto the podcast.
0:33
Her name is Sara Baker and Sara is going to be on the podcast with us and the way that I met Sara just so you guys all know, there’s a place called, we went the first time at breathe degrees.
0:45
And so there’s a place here in San Diego called Breathe Degrees.
0:47
This is not an ad or anything like this at all.
0:50
This is just something that I’ve been going to.
0:52
So I started going to breathe degrees before he even opened up his space.
0:57
I was going to his house and backyard and I was able to like experience Tyler.
1:01
So Tyler is the owner of breathe degrees and what they do, they basically have hot and cold therapy.
1:06
So they have the cold plunges and then they have jacuzzis that you can go back and forth with.
1:11
And at their knee location, they actually have a sauna as well.
1:13
So you have a Jacuzzi, a cold plunge and the sauna and what I love about great degrees now that it has its own space.
1:20
It has created such a beautiful community of people that are in this place of wanting to do more for themselves, caring about their health, wanna do stress management, wanna push themselves to their edges are open to being like, oh what else is there for me?
1:36
That makes me feel really good in my life.
1:38
And that is exactly how I met Sarah.
1:42
We were actually sitting in the sauna, I think, and I, I had totally blank on the conversation we were having, but it was like some kind of sparky conversation, like depth conversation.
1:51
And then he came up to me afterwards, like I’d love to get to know you.
1:55
And then I saw Sara again at a breathwork event.
1:58
So I guess I say that for anyone that’s listening to this podcast episode right now is like community and people that I’ve connected with have truly come from these in person activities.
2:09
And I live in a place in San Diego that just has that so easily accessible, but it’s just such amazing people which connected me to Sarah.
2:15
So Sara is here, what I love about Sara is that you basically blend all the worlds that we talk about on this podcast, right?
2:24
So you blend therapy, you blend business and you blend coaching and spirituality and it all comes together in your practice, which I think is so important for the kinds of work that you’re doing as well as for anyone that’s end of this episode.
2:39
Because in order to lively express, it’s so much more than just one category or one way of doing things.
2:47
It’s really a blend of all the tools that are out there.
2:51
And yeah, with that being said, I’m going to pass it over to Sarah, let her introduce herself, but she’s just such a gem and so amazing.
2:58
So I’m so excited for you guys get to learn from her today.
3:00
Thanks so much for having me today.
3:02
I’m so excited to be here and yeah, I’m Sara and I am a, I’m a wellness entrepreneur and I’ve started two amazing businesses that really encompass all of the things that Kano was talking about from all of the holistic aspects of healing.
3:18
I have a holistic therapy clinic where I get to mentor some amazing clinicians as they work with incredible clients and expand their journey and expand their tools that clinicians and bringing in more of a holistic approach to therapy.
3:32
And then I also have a professional coaching company where I get to work on business and mindset mindset more specifically with women entrepreneurs and helping them to expand their business and remove blocks mental and emotional blocks and get more connected with their purpose and their spiritual connection so that they can have an amazing business along with a life that they absolutely love.
3:53
So that’s what I’m all about and bringing all of these things together with breath work with nosis, energy, healing, all kinds of things that really just help you to expand and live fully expressed.
4:05
So good.
4:06
I absolutely love that.
4:07
Thank you so much.
4:08
And so Sarah, I’d love to learn a little bit about your journey.
4:11
Like how did you even get to a place of wanting to integrate all these different parts of yourself?
4:18
Yeah.
4:18
Yeah.
4:19
I love this question because I feel like it goes way back in my history when I was first kind of even unconsciously introduced to this kind of healing work.
4:28
It kind of started when I was really, really young and my great grandmother, she was like this kind of like new age person in a time when it was really like not a thing to be a new age.
4:40
She was really involved in the Catholic church.
4:43
And then she also had a keen interest in metaphysical work and exploring different types of spirituality.
4:49
So I remember when I was really, really young she would always have people over to the house and would be reading their cards and be doing different types of healing work with them.
4:57
And I just remember being a little girl and being curious about it and she would read my cards and all of this kind of seeped in.
5:04
And then later in life, I always had this wanting to know more about why people do what they do, why they are the way that they are, why they do what they do, why they feel what they feel.
5:16
And this led me to wanting to study psychology.
5:19
And so I had this kind of spiritual background and then that led me into psychology.
5:25
And it was really in college where I started to blend those two worlds because I was introduced to some horses on the introduction to meditation and mindfulness and the sociology of it and all kinds of things.
5:37
And that kind of opened up my world, my ideas to integrating a more holistic approach into this more traditional psychology world.
5:45
And I was really really interested in how that could help people heal and how that could help people grow just from a new fresh perspective.
5:53
So this is where it started.
5:54
And then after college, I traveled around the world, that was a big part of my spiritual awakening, traveling and just getting to experience different people and cultures and just kind of open my eyes to just different parts of the world.
6:08
So through all of those experiences, it kind of brought me back to how can I really create what I’m experiencing out there in the world?
6:16
How can I create an experience for people here to be able to experience their healing journey in a new way?
6:22
And so I went on, I became licensed as a psychotherapist.
6:26
And I had this vision to create a private practice that integrated these different approaches to therapy, bringing some traditional approaches, but then also bringing in things like meditation and sound healing and breath work and all of these incredible things.
6:40
So all of this came together in my private practice and that quickly grew, there were a lot of people who are really interested in this type of work and I knew that I wanted to keep expanding.
6:50
So I decided that I was going to open a, a bigger practice and bring in more clinicians who had a similar approach to therapy and start to mentor them a little bit and being able to expand and grow their practice with more of a holistic approach.
7:03
So it kind of came to that.
7:05
And then from there, things kept expanding for me where I can continue to study personal growth and hypnosis and ongoing breath work.
7:13
And specifically N LP, which is, it stands for Neurolinguistics programming.
7:18
And it’s really learning more about your unconscious mind and how you’re communicating with yourself and your outside world, how that’s creating a reality.
7:26
So I got to really learn how to do some, some type of neural reprogramming and bring that into the practice.
7:33
And that led me into doing more personal coaching work.
7:36
It gave me more of a kind of creative way to bring all of my tradition, all of my practices together and then be able to, to create things like retreats and group coaching programs and then start to specifically focus on business with women because it really lights me up.
7:52
And I love of empowering women and helping them to see what’s really possible for them and helping them to remove all those mental and emotional blocks.
8:00
So they can truly live out their full potential and experience who they’re meant to be in this lifetime.
8:06
So that’s kind of where I am now.
8:07
It kind of all came full circle and now I still I have the therapy practice where I get to mentor amazing clinicians and then I get to continue creating experiences that really fulfill me and light me up and you know, help other women to feel the same and experience the fullest versions of themselves.
8:23
Another life hack coming in for you today.
8:26
Did you drink water?
8:27
I know this is such a simple life hack.
8:29
But you know, when we’re so busy and life keeps going, going, we forget to drink water.
8:34
So I just wanted to kindly jump in here and remind you to drink some water because we all need more water.
8:39
And here is the tip when you’re drinking water, add some salt or add some trace minerals into your water.
8:45
So your body can fully actually absorb the water and your body can hydrate.
8:50
Thank you for listening.
8:52
I love that.
8:53
Thank you so much.
8:54
So that was the main thing and I’m so excited.
8:57
I want to peel back to the spiritual weakening that you had while you were traveling.
9:01
What does that mean?
9:01
What does that look like?
9:03
I love that question.
9:04
Yeah.
9:05
For me, it was like, I remember the first time that I was really traveling, I was studying abroad and I just, I got to experience all of these different cultures and these different people.
9:15
And it was like in that time, my mind just opened and expanded to, you know, the possibility of there being so much out there to experience and so much out there to do.
9:25
And I think before, you know, I was kind of in this little box if you will of like, you know, just knowing what I knew in the life that I had here.
9:34
And when I, when I started to travel, I started to see that there’s so much out there, like there is so much to experience so much possibility, so much potential and whatever I want my life to be, it can be.
9:45
And so I think for me that spiritual awakening was more about just knowing this limitless potential that was out there that we all have this ability to tap into and to reach and to experience this different parts of ourselves through experiences like travel.
9:59
I love that.
10:00
What does it mean to be like this limitless list?
10:02
Right.
10:03
So, so much about this podcast, we talk about like there’s more out there for you, right?
10:06
Like I want people to hear and know that there is more for them.
10:10
Like their opportunities are limitless.
10:12
You can go after the thing that you so badly want to go after and whatever that looks like for you.
10:18
I think that’s the other thing that it’s so it can be so unique and so individualized.
10:22
And then for you, like, how would you describe like tapping into that energy and what does that actually look like tapping into that energy?
10:30
You know, I think it first came from, from me just kind of being out there and being willing to explore different things, you know, just being willing to put myself in situations that were maybe unfamiliar or uncomfortable.
10:41
And I think that’s a lot of what traveled it.
10:44
And once I was in those situations, I just noticed that synchronistic things would start to happen and people would just come into my life that, you know, led me to new opportunities.
10:54
And while I was traveling, I had the opportunity to go to some really spiritual places like Machu Picchu and places that just had this really magnetic energy field that once you’re there, you can just feel that there’s some something different happening here.
11:08
There’s something that’s kind of beyond what’s explainable happening in the energy field.
11:14
And that really led me to believe that, you know, if there’s so much of this out there and there’s these places that have this magnetic energy and these people that just come into your path, like, truly anything is possible, right?
11:27
And it’s almost like, you know, when you tap into the great mysteries of life, it gets you more comfortable with knowing that there’s so much in that great mystery, right?
11:35
There’s so much that can be explored and there’s so much that you can tap into when you just start to allow yourself to receive it a little bit too and be willing to go to places that are going to show you just different things that are possible than you used to think was possible in your kind of limited old mindset.
11:52
Yeah, totally.
11:53
I love that.
11:53
You brought up Machu Picchu.
11:54
I don’t know if you know this, but I’m Peruvian.
11:56
Did we talk about this or we met?
11:59
Yeah.
12:00
So I’m Peruvian.
12:00
So I’ve gone to Machu Picchu, I think six times at this point and every single time that I’ve gone, it’s been a little bit different.
12:06
Like, obviously when I was like three and six and 12, like I had no sense of what was going on.
12:11
But like you go there and it’s different.
12:13
It’s so different.
12:14
I mean, I think also like traveling, I relate so much to because traveling has always been this way, this path to like holy cow.
12:24
What, what is this energy it like?
12:26
Plugs you into just amazing connection and there’s specific spots that just like light you up when you’re traveling.
12:34
Yeah, that was huge for me.
12:36
I held my first retreat in Peru actually.
12:40
Yeah, I’ve been to Peru twice.
12:43
I spent about a month there the first time.
12:45
And then the second time when I, when I held the retreat and it was because the first time that I went there, it was like such a deep connection to the land and just to the culture and the people and just the mystery that’s there, right?
12:57
Like my and I just felt so connected to it.
13:00
And you know, I decided to, it was a couple of years after I first traveled there to have my first retreat there.
13:05
And that was a really big moment for me because it was like, I think when I first went to Peru, it really opened my mind to possibility and to just being supported by this beautiful mystery, this different energy.
13:20
And it really gave me this kind of gave me this power to leave this corporate world that I was in at the time and pursue this dream of bringing people to beautiful magical places in the world like Peru so that they could experience this different energy which allows them to experience a different part of themselves.
13:38
So that was a really big moment for me and Peru holds a special place in my heart because of it.
13:43
Yeah.
13:43
Yeah, totally.
13:44
And I feel like something that you’re talking to like for anyone that like it’s this thing that happens when you like said, like you give yourself permission to be open to it, like doing something different that calls you in the way.
13:56
This is like, so ironic, I just posted or story on Instagram talking about this process like so simple to the point of like you just giving yourself permission to experience something and it seems like you gave yourself permission to experience this and it opened up your world and it created this opportunity of like being retreats and all these things.
14:14
But it’s like the smallest step or the smallest yes or the biggest yes can lead you to like where you’re at now.
14:21
Totally, totally.
14:22
And I think, you know, we we all are kind of conditioned to be in this like limited mindset, right?
14:27
Like we have this mindset of the world or these beliefs that were built inside of us about, you know, what’s possible or what’s real or you know, just what is and that can sometimes kind of keep us contained in this box to not be able to see what’s outside of it, right?
14:43
We’re kind of seeing through this tunnel vision all of the time.
14:45
And so if we don’t believe that magic is possible, if we don’t believe that there’s more out there or we don’t believe that, you know, there’s higher powers out there, kind of support, always supporting us no matter what we’re doing when we’re following our heart and listening to our gut and trusting our intuition, you know, that we might not receive those other knowings or that other energy or that other support from the universe.
15:08
And so, yeah, I think it’s, it is about, you know, saying yes and being willing to open up and deconstruct some of these old belief systems and some of these old programmings that we have that have kind of kept us in this tunnel vision, you know, not fully aware of what’s truly possible for us.
15:24
Yeah.
15:25
And so in that, right, like this, this box that we put ourselves in, right?
15:29
That that can come from a number of different things like society and cultural, the way that we were raised all these things, right?
15:37
What are some ways that someone can start to go through the unraveling of that and the undoing of this box that we’ve been in, right?
15:45
And like even recognizing that you’re in this box, like recognizing that you’ve kept yourself in this one place because it feels safe, it feels comfortable.
15:53
It’s what, you know, it’s no quote unquote normal, right to you and your community and the people that you belong in.
15:59
So like one is recognizing that, but two, how can someone start to take the steps towards wanting to break that box a little bit?
16:07
Like wanting to shift it up, wanting to change, make different colors of it, you know, make it look differently.
16:12
Yeah, I love that question.
16:13
And I think what’s really important first is knowing that like you didn’t consciously choose to put yourself in this box, right?
16:20
Like this is something.
16:22
Can you say that again louder?
16:23
You didn’t consciously choose to put yourself in this box?
16:27
You didn’t say, ok, these are going to be my beliefs and this is the way that I’m going to think about myself and my world.
16:32
A lot of those beliefs were created in early stages of life specifically ages 0 to 7.
16:38
When your brain is unconscious, you come into this world.
16:41
When you come into this world, you don’t know what love is or anger is or anything is.
16:46
Your brain comes into this world almost like this.
16:49
It’s like a sponge and it starts to pick up on everything that you’re hearing, everything you’re being told, everything that you’re seeing.
16:57
And this is starting to create your default belief system on the world.
17:01
You see certain expressions of love and anger and then that becomes your version of what love and anger is, right?
17:07
And then you see or you’re told certain things, right?
17:10
Like, you know, maybe things like, you know, you’re not good enough or not worthy and sometimes really insignificant things can happen that cause us to think certain things about ourselves or our world.
17:21
And this again starts to create our belief system about the world.
17:24
We don’t, we’re not consciously choosing it.
17:26
Then our brain is un, it’s just soaking it up.
17:29
And then we turn seven and these start to become our belief systems and we start to see the world through them, they go unconscious.
17:36
So we’re no longer aware that this was happening or that they’re there.
17:39
They’re just how we start to see the world, think about the world view the world.
17:44
So a lot of that is, it’s like installed, it’s these programmings that are installed inside of us and we all have it.
17:50
We all have different versions of reality.
17:53
And I think that’s one of the first ways to start deconstructing this box that we put ourselves in or unconsciously put ourselves in is the first step is really starting to become aware, one that we’re in this box and that we all have our own versions of reality and knowing that our perception creates our reality, right?
18:10
So really, really understanding that the way that we think about the world, what we believe, what we see that is creating our reality.
18:18
And when we’re seeing it through old belief systems or through old things that are kind of limiting us, that’s creating our reality right now, even if those belief systems were installed along long time ago.
18:29
If we’re not aware of this or that we’re in this box or that this is what’s causing us to see the world a certain way, we’re going to think that this is just the way that life is.
18:38
This just is reality when really it’s our perception, creating the reality.
18:43
And we have this opportunity to start changing the way that we see the world so that we can change the results that we get too.
18:49
Because when we perceive the world differently, when we see it differently, when we think about it differently, we feel differently about it, our emotions are different and then we behave differently and then we get different results in the world, right?
19:00
So starting to become aware of, you know that we’re even in this box and that this box is creating our current version reality and we can start to deconstruct it one first just by becoming aware of it.
19:12
Then once you’re aware of it, right?
19:14
Once you’re aware of it, you’ve got to get into this place where you really want to be at.
19:18
Cause for your life, you want to be the cause of how your life goes instead of being the effect of it, right?
19:25
Where when you’re the effect of it, that’s when you’re more in the victim mindset.
19:28
That’s when you’re more like life is just happening to me.
19:31
Everything’s falling on top of me.
19:33
I’m just a pawn in this game of life, I feel like I have no control about it over it.
19:37
And you’re pointing the finger outside of yourself, you’re blaming and complaining and all this stuff, right?
19:42
And you feel like you don’t have any control over it, but you’ve got to be willing to get to cause for everything in your life because when you’re at cause you’re in an empowered place and it doesn’t mean that you cause all these negative things outside of you to happen.
19:56
What it does mean is that when you’re at cause for everything in your life, that means that you have the opportunity to change it, to control it, to respond or react to things differently.
20:06
And this is going to move you into a more empowered place in how you’re dealing with the world, right?
20:11
So you’re becoming aware of your beliefs and then you’re like, OK, I’m gonna, I’m gonna be a cause I’m going to take responsibility for these beliefs that I have, right?
20:18
I could blame, you know, my parents for saying certain things to me when I was young or putting me through certain situations, you know, we’ve all had those.
20:26
But if I do that, then I’m, then I’m the victim.
20:28
I’m saying that all of these things that happened to me or my parents have control over the way that I feel right now.
20:34
And that’s absolutely not true because the truth is no one can make you feel any kind of way, right?
20:40
It’s the way that you’re thinking about a situation that makes you feel the way that you feel, right?
20:44
When you take this opportunity to get, to cause to be empowered, to choose to be empowered in the way that you think about your life, you start to change your perception on reality and then you can start to deconstruct some of these old belief systems that were, you know, maybe once supported you or once helped you at some point in your life, but are now maybe holding you back or limiting you, right?
21:07
So you can take an empowered stance and start to start to deconstruct them and then tools that I found that really, really help to deconstruct them because, you know, affirmations are one thing and they can be really, really great.
21:17
And sometimes that’s just the conscious mind kind of stacking some positive things on top of each other, which can be really great.
21:24
We also really want to work with the unconscious part of the brain and start to move some of the beliefs at that level because that’s where all of our stuff is stuck.
21:32
That’s what’s kind of controlling our perceptions and the way that we’re thinking about reality.
21:36
So when you work with that part of the brain, you really start to get to the root of where these problems are and you get to uproot it from the core so that you create some long lasting deep change.
21:47
And I love things like hypnosis and breath work and a specific technique that I use called mental and emotional release that really helps to change the neural pathways and create new beliefs at that unconscious level.
22:00
So that’s the new reality that you start to see.
22:03
You automatically start to see through them and, and you change it from a deep level.
22:06
Yeah.
22:07
Yeah, I was, thank you for that.
22:08
I was going to ask, you know, what does it really look like to shift that?
22:11
Because for anyone that’s listening, you know, I feel like especially when you’ve been doing this work for a long time or you’ve been in this practice for a really long time, you’ve gone to therapy for years, you know, you’ve talked it out, you’ve done all these things you can get in this part of like I’m so self aware of my patterns.
22:28
Like I know why I’m doing the things I’m doing.
22:30
I know me very, very well.
22:32
But then when let’s say you come up against a situation and your system just takes over, right?
22:39
Like kind of goes into automatic response of like, oh this thing happened and now this is how I react.
22:46
Like this could be, I talk so much about navigating conflict.
22:49
For example, when hard conversations come up, emotions are involved, vulnerability, all these things come up, you know, it’s so hard, it can be difficult to, oh, I know I need to show up this way.
23:00
You know, I need to be, I want to be grounded.
23:03
I want to be I want to make sure I ask compassionate questions.
23:07
You know, I want to be curious, I don’t want to be defensive.
23:10
I want to be open like that energy, right?
23:12
That different energy.
23:13
And you kind of started talking to this, but can you share a little bit more of like what it actually is like to shift those moments when things are like really tough, you know, where things are really hard, all your emotions are coming up and how do you work through that on an unconscious level?
23:27
Such a great question and can be such a big question.
23:31
So I’ll try to, you know, kind of condense it in a really, yeah, well, way for you, you know, but when all that stuff is coming up, when all we’ve got really big emotions coming up and we’re really like going through something, I think it’s really important to know that what you’re feeling in that moment isn’t just the emotion related to that moment, right?
23:49
It’s all this emotion that’s gotten stored over a long period of time and gotten stored in your unconscious mind.
23:56
Part of the role of your unconscious mind is to help you survive, right?
24:00
It’s like main thing is to help you survive in this lifetime.
24:04
So what it does is when you go through a really big emotional event or a traumatic event or something in your life.
24:10
It’s going to repress that for the purpose of protection.
24:13
But you don’t have the tools or resources to resolve that energy in the moment.
24:18
Right.
24:18
Sometimes we go through something and we don’t fully have the capacity to deal with it or to resolve it or to fully get through that emotion.
24:25
And we still need to go to work.
24:27
We still need to get through our day.
24:29
So the unconscious is going to help us by repressing it for protection.
24:32
And then it’s going to store it in kind of this energy bubble that represents a certain belief or a certain emotion.
24:39
And when something similar happens again, and the same thing happens where we don’t fully resolve it again, it’s going to get repressed and then it’s going to get stored in that emotional bubble.
24:48
And then when it happens again, when we experience the emotion, it’s not just the emotion of that moment, it’s all the emotion that’s gone stored in that energy bubble that we’re reacting through.
24:59
So we’re reacting through this emotion.
25:01
So it’s kind of like this compiled emotion that’s been stored throughout our life and comes out in these moments that feel bigger than maybe they could be right.
25:10
Have you ever had a moment where maybe you just totally overreact and you’re like, wow, that wasn’t me or I don’t know how often you look back at parts version of me.
25:20
I was like, that really wasn’t that big of a deal, but it was a huge deal to my internal system, you know, my internal dialogue because there’s been all this stuff repressed for a long time that’s really just wanting resolution.
25:33
The unconscious is also wanting to help you, wants to help you to have everything that you want in this lifetime.
25:39
And in order to do that, it knows that you also need to resolve this stuff that’s gone repressed in your life.
25:45
So it’s going to pull your attention towards things that are going to bring up this emotion or this belief for the purpose of resolution, right?
25:54
And so it’ll do this at times, even when you don’t think that you’re ready to resolve it, it knows that you’re ready.
26:00
So it’ll draw your attention towards a situation or towards a person or towards something that represents this emotion for you and that emotion comes up, right?
26:09
And so in that moment, that’s when we want to work on resolving those emotions that are coming up, especially when they’re out of proportion to the situation because then we get to resolve it and when we resolve it, that’s really about releasing the emotional energy, releasing the energy, the emotional charge that’s around it through tools like breathwork, through tools like hypnosis and m that I talked about that helps you to actually release the emotional energy because once you release the emotional energy, then your mind is clear and open and you can respond to the situation from a calm centered and balanced place and be able to look towards the past and towards the future with a more con grow mindset so that you can get the higher perspective on why you experience this because the energy is going to fully release, it’s going to fully resolve once you have the higher perspective on what you’re meant to grow from this experience, how you’re meant to grow, what you’re meant to learn from it.
27:01
The lesson that you’re meant to get.
27:03
And so each time you go through a big emotional reaction, something that you can start doing is to one, get yourself grounded.
27:11
You know, if you’re trying to problem solve through the emotions, you’re probably not going to get very far.
27:16
And so you want to get to a place where you can at least be in a more meditative calm state, right?
27:22
So getting ground, you know, going outside, putting your feet in the ground, bare feet in the ground, taking a few deep breaths, getting yourself into a meditative state and then being able to ask yourself some bigger questions for what purpose am I experiencing this?
27:38
Right?
27:38
And how is this helping me grow?
27:40
Right.
27:40
And how is this actually helping me in my life and maybe being able to identify some patterns where this specific theme has shown up in your life over and over again.
27:50
And if you’re able to identify that then, you know, OK, this is probably connected to a big lesson or a big message that I meant to learn in my life.
27:57
And so what do I need to learn from this pattern?
28:00
What do I need to learn about myself?
28:01
What do I need to shift inside my mindset around it?
28:04
What do I need to apply to my life now so that I can actually grow and evolve and get the outcome that I want in life, right?
28:11
So that can be really helpful to start asking yourself better questions when you go through those experiences too, right?
28:17
Because again, the emotion that you experience, we all, we all go through it.
28:20
We all have quote unquote baggage, which is just like built up emotional energy, it’s not negative and we’re experiencing a lot of our situations through this built up kind of residual energy.
28:31
And so when it comes up, yes, we want to be able to get the higher perspective on it.
28:36
And that again is going to come from getting grounded, getting into a meditative state, finding the higher perspective, asking yourself better questions.
28:43
And then if you have the ability to use tools like breathwork and hypnosis and mental and emotional relief, that’s really going to take you to another level where you’re installing new beliefs and new neural pathways that are going to be your kind of new version of reality.
28:56
Yeah, that was so well said I feel like, how do I say this, the biggest thing that comes through?
29:01
Like, is it fair to say, you know, your system, your body is going to show you what’s meant to be released at that time.
29:07
Right.
29:08
Yes.
29:09
Yeah.
29:09
Yeah.
29:10
So the way that I think about it, it brings up such a past, like when I first started doing this work, I was like, I want to find myself, you know, I went like, yes, I was present with whatever happened in the moment.
29:20
But then I got to the point of like, I want to go figure out more like I went digging, you know, I went searching and I love your opinion on that because I think that journey of my journey was so necessary as to like, ok, I’m going to go dig a little bit and then I got to this place of like, OK, I don’t have to constantly do the work.
29:36
Like my system, my body will show me what’s the next thing I get to work on?
29:42
What’s the next thing I get to release?
29:43
So I’d love to know what’s your perspective on, you know, the phases of the journey, right?
29:47
Some people find this early on.
29:49
They’re like, oh, this is blowing my mind.
29:51
I’m going to dig, dig, dig and then they get to a place like, oh, I get to just be present with whatever comes up in my day to day, whatever meets me where I’m at.
29:58
Yeah, I think there’s so many different phases to the journey and I think that, you know, as long as you’re open to getting to know yourself better, right.
30:07
If you know yourself, the more that you’re willing to get to know yourself, the farther you’re going to go and there’s so many different ways to get you to know yourself.
30:15
There’s no right or wrong way to approach yourself at any part of the journey.
30:19
It’s just being willing to tune in.
30:21
And like you said, with this mind, body connection, the body is always going to tell you when you’re going through something, when you’re experiencing an emotion or there’s something to pay attention to.
30:30
And there’s so many different ways to address it in those different parts of the journey.
30:34
Like you talked about therapy earlier and this bringing some really great awareness to you in your life.
30:40
And as a therapist, I know this because for so many years that was like, you know what I was doing with helping them to have this great awareness of themselves.
30:49
And I kind of got to a point as a therapist where I’m like, ok, I’m ready to take it a step further because yes, I want clients to have an awareness and I want them to actually be able to resolve it.
30:58
I actually want them to be able to get different results in their life, not just have to manage anxiety or manage these bigger emotions but actually be able to resolve it and feel themselves as a new version of themselves.
31:11
And I remember, I guess it was back in 2017, I was, I was working with a client and she had pretty severe panic disorder.
31:19
And I, I remember, you know, because I always brought this holistic approach to therapy.
31:23
I was always doing really amazing things with her and she would have some great success.
31:27
And then I noticed that she would kind of cycle back around in these same patterns and go through these same things and have these panic attacks.
31:34
And she was questioning, using medication, doing these different things.
31:37
And I was just like, there’s got to be something else out there that is going to actually help her to fully resolve this from the deepest level.
31:44
And that’s kind of when N LP neuro linguistic programming just kind of like fluttered into my path.
31:50
Someone told me you should go check out this training.
31:52
I’m like, yeah, why not?
31:53
And so I did.
31:54
And I remember when I was in that training, I saw people with these techniques release anger, they’d had their entire lives and phobias and ptsd and these techniques can take just a matter of minutes.
32:06
And as a therapist and a human, I was like, I can’t believe this.
32:10
How do we not already know about this therapists and as humans?
32:14
And so it was kind of my mission at that point to go deeper into these teachings and to start to bring this into the world with my clients.
32:21
So they would start to get some real, real results and not just have to have awareness of their stuff, right, or feel like they’re just going to have to manage it forever.
32:28
Like I wanted them to get some real long lasting change.
32:32
And so I brought these specific techniques back to my clients, specifically back to my client with the panic disorder.
32:38
And I took her through a process of what’s called a breakthrough session.
32:42
And this breakthrough session, it’s like eight years of therapy in eight hours and just gets right to the root.
32:48
And because you’re working with this unconscious part of your brain, you’re able to access where all of these stored memories and emotions got stopped and you’re able to take it even deeper and then actually release it, release the energy and the emotions that have been kind of clouding your perception of reality with the tools with mental and emotional release and some other tools and then be able to see who you truly are and what you’re meant for in this lifetime and set bigger goals and take action from that place.
33:15
And when we went through this at the time before we did it, she was like, she couldn’t, she couldn’t drive anymore because her panic attacks were so bad.
33:22
She couldn’t work and she was just this incredible woman this incredible musician and she was, her life felt so limited.
33:29
And then we did this work and it was just like night and day because after doing this now, she has this incredible music career in Las Vegas and she’s pursuing all kinds of different things and on stages and just this incredible entertainer.
33:44
And it was really, you know, I really want to say that it’s because of doing this work with the unconscious mind because she had just a completely different experience and no longer just had an awareness of where her anxiety came from or awareness of the traumas in her life or awareness of the patterns that she’d been through.
34:01
We were actually able to do something about the energy that, that got stuck along her path and the root of where it got stuck, change it so that she could have a new experience of herself and her life and now live her life as she’s meant to like the life that she’s meant for and who she’s meant to be.
34:16
Yeah.
34:17
Wow.
34:17
So it’s like such full body chills because there’s so many people out there that are just repeating the same thing, like just knowing from like friends, community, people that I meet, you know, like living in this constant anxiety or living in this constant panic or living in this constant quote unquote stuck.
34:37
And you know what I find it so sad sometimes to just be like, that’s become quote unquote normal in a lot of ways.
34:44
Like our culture, our society has normalized that in some ways.
34:48
And while I don’t want to take away or validate that those people do feel those ways, of course, you feel that way.
34:54
But I also to what you just talked about is just like the ability to work through that.
35:00
Like the desire to be like, oh, I can go deeper and I can, I can get through this.
35:05
And you helped your client like, really experience that, like, truly experience what it’s like to be like duck, miserable, anxious.
35:13
I mean, she probably could, if she didn’t, maybe didn’t find this sooner, she could have lived 5016 years.
35:18
I think we’re in a generation right now where we’re starting to wake up to.
35:22
This is possible.
35:24
We can’t, there is more for us if we want to do the work, if we want to dig deeper, if we want to find something else, if we want to move or we’re just open to other ideas that are quote unquote, not normal in our world, which is so funny to me because it’s so normal in my world.
35:40
But when you look at like the overarching like the US Western culture and just even around the world, like digging deeper is not normal and more was so special if he found it.
35:53
Like I talked to my mom sometimes and she’s in, she’s in her fifties and she started unpeel this work around like 3540 you know, so she can find it till later.
36:02
And now I’m in, I started finding this around like 2627.
36:07
So it’s like, is beautiful.
36:09
It’s becoming more normal and more reachable and you’re providing those tools for those people.
36:13
Yeah.
36:14
Yeah.
36:14
I, I definitely think that there’s kind of a change in the collective of, you know, being more open to these alternative types of healing and, you know, just being more willing to explore parts of yourselves.
36:27
And like, I think that’s the key difference because it was, it’s, it’s so normalized now.
36:32
Like you said, it’s, it’s normalized in a way where like it’s OK to work on your health and it’s ok to have emotions and it’s ok to have these blocks and to feel stuck and to go through these things and it’s ok to feel whatever you feel.
36:46
The most important thing is that you’re willing, once you, once you recognize that you’re in these feelings or you’ve got this stuck stuff that you’re ready to get to an empowered place around them because there are tools, there are resources that can help you just move out of this away, earnest and actually start living the way that you want to live it.
37:03
Right.
37:03
There’s no more excuses or reasons about why you can’t be do or have something like if you want to experience something in life and experience a fuller version of yourself, you have to be willing to invest, like, invest, time, invest financially, invest energetically, like, invest in yourself and your well being because that’s what’s going to help you to experience the most fullest version of yourself to be fully expressed.
37:26
Like when you’re to do those things totally.
37:28
And that takes, I think a, a true sense of self responsibility, right?
37:32
Like you are responsible for your choices, right?
37:35
We’re constantly making choices 24 7 all day.
37:38
You know, we, we’re making a choice since the minute that we wake up, since the night minute that we go to bed.
37:42
Like it’s just this ongoing thing that we’re choosing all day long.
37:46
But you’re talking to this sense of like we are, we are fully responsible for what that looks like for ourselves and knowing that it doesn’t have to look a certain way either.
37:55
Like it can look in the way that life presents itself to you.
37:59
You kind of, you kind of shared that.
38:00
And as an example when you found N LP, you know, you, you start asking questions, you started getting curious.
38:06
You were like there is something else here.
38:08
I know there has to be another way and that you believe that there is another way that N LP came to knocking to your door.
38:15
And I just think that’s how life finds us.
38:18
That’s how these opportunities find does is like if you put the curiosity out there, the answers start coming to you.
38:24
Right.
38:24
It’s almost like what flows to you is meant to come to you.
38:27
Totally.
38:28
Totally.
38:29
Exactly.
38:29
Like when we’re ready for it and even if we’re not ready for it, but if there’s something that we’re seeking and we’re like, open to, yeah, those answers are going to start start flooding in and start coming to you.
38:40
And I also think that, you know, when it comes to like emotions and like you want to experience a different version of yourself, something really amazing that you can start doing is start to celebrate when you go through some periods of stuck or some big emotions.
38:55
Because what that means is that you’re actually ready for some big change, like you’re ready for some big growth and your unconscious knows that you’re ready to experience something new and that’s why it’s bringing this stuff up for you.
39:07
Because the only way to get to your next level is to go through these emotion.
39:12
You can’t, you can’t go to second grade until you pass first grade.
39:15
You’ve got to get the lessons like you’ve got to get the awareness that you need.
39:19
You’ve got to start to apply some different tools and actions and behaviors in your life and then you’re going to keep evolving.
39:25
And I think the other important thing to note too is that we’re programmed to continually seek more and more.
39:31
And what that means is that when we’re seeking more and more out of life, we’re going to be experiencing bigger challenges.
39:37
Like the only way to not experience a challenge is to do absolutely nothing in life.
39:42
Absolutely nothing.
39:44
And that’s just, that’s just not a reality.
39:46
And so learning to start celebrating your challenge to celebrate your emotions because that means that you’re ready for some big growth in your life.
39:54
And even if you don’t consciously know it yet, you’re unconscious does and you’ve got to trust that you’ve got to trust.
40:00
I’m so glad that you brought that into this because I think so any client that I’ve ever met with, I’m like, I’m so excited for you or if a friend is like deep in their shit right now, I’m like, wow, I’m so excited for you because it’s such a beautiful opportunity.
40:14
You need to expand your internal capacity, your nervous system, your life the way they view things because you are going through it, right?
40:22
You’re going through the thick of it.
40:24
I know it sucks sometimes like you’re like, oh I’m going through all these really heavy emotions, but I love the perspective of like this is a really great time for you.
40:33
Like this is actually really amazing because you’re growing, you’re leveling up, you’re moving to that next grade that you mentioned, right?
40:39
Like it, that expander positive energy.
40:42
It’s like, no, you’re expanding yourself.
40:44
You’re, you’re going to the next level that you’re here to play at.
40:47
Oh Yeah.
40:48
Oh Yeah.
40:48
I’m the same way with clients, you know, come to me and maybe they’re crying and stuff.
40:51
I’m like, oh, this is going to be so fun.
40:53
Like, I can’t wait to you there.
40:55
Like, fun.
40:56
Like, what are you talking about?
40:57
And I’m like, be so great for you.
40:59
You have no idea, you know, and I’m, I’m like, ok, you got to tone it down.
41:03
Yeah.
41:03
And I think a part of that comes from the excitement of like, maybe you’ve experienced this just with, you get to experience this with clients all the time.
41:09
I’m assuming like you see them start at a and you get to see them at sea.
41:13
You know, you’re like, oh wow.
41:15
I, I saw you at A, I will help you get through B and now you’re at C and it’s just, it’s such a beautiful transformation and process that people get to where they start wherever to, going to like living their life express at whatever next stage that looks like for them.
41:29
Yeah.
41:30
Yeah.
41:30
I absolutely feel that and I know that when a client comes to me with something, you know, one, I feel like it’s, they’re meant to be on this path because they’ve come into my world like they’re meant to experience this type of work.
41:44
And you’re absolutely right.
41:45
The reason that I feel excited is because I know what’s possible for them and I am like anyone can come to me with any kind of problem and I am 99 point 9% sure that we’re going to get to the other side of it and you’re going to experience a big shift, like some big resolution in your life and really start to experience more of your true authentic self.
42:04
Like I know that down and there are no doubts in my mind about, you know, what you get out of, you know, doing this type of deep work.
42:12
You know, it, I know it, I know it personally.
42:15
Like it is just incredible when you get to experience that.
42:18
Yeah.
42:19
So on that note for you on your journey, like personally, I’d love to know like if you’re open to sharing, like what is, what part of your journey are you at?
42:29
Because I feel like we repeat the cycles over and over.
42:31
But where are you in the cycle of where you are with like fully expressing yourself either as a, as a professional, as a person personally, in relationships?
42:40
Like where are you right now?
42:42
And where are you going?
42:43
I love this question because I think that, you know, we go through so many different stages of our life and our career and you go through cycles and you go through different things.
42:54
And so for me right now, you know, I’ve built these two amazing businesses that I absolutely love and I’m, I’m still getting to know myself on such a deep level, right?
43:03
And so I’ve created, you know, different programs and different retreats and different things that have felt so good to me at certain times.
43:11
And where I am at this part of my journey is bringing those retreats and group coaching programs together and helping women through business and mindset coaching, which is so much fun.
43:20
And, you know, I’m still exploring myself as an entrepreneur too.
43:24
I’m kind of in this mindset where I’m, I’m so excited about this program and this retreat I’ve got coming up and I also know that, you know, this may be what I do forever.
43:32
This may be a phase in my life.
43:35
There may be something else coming for me.
43:37
I don’t know, but I’m just excited to explore different things.
43:40
And so whatever opportunities are kind of knocking on my doorstep.
43:44
It’s always about me tuning in and does this authentically align with where my life’s at right now, does this attune with my deeper values.
43:52
I’m always looking at, you know, my values use in life and specifically, you know, career values, especially I’m always looking at like, does this align with the season of life that I’m in right now.
44:02
Is this something that I really want to be diving into?
44:05
And I’m always exploring that, you know, as an entrepreneur, as a person, like always asking myself questions and it’s not like, OK, now that I’ve got this business and this business, like it’s just a straight line for it.
44:16
And I’m just, you know, going in this direction, you know, there’s always going to be kind of this winding road.
44:22
And so I’m just in this space where, you know, I’m, I’m always the student, I’m always getting to know myself.
44:28
I’m learning from my clients, I’m learning from, you know, the things that I’m experiencing outside of me.
44:34
And so I’m just always in this place where I’m willing to grow and, you know, to be humble and to just kind of experience what these kind of higher powers want to show me.
44:43
So I would definitely say that at this stage of my life, like I’m still growing, I’m still learning and I still go through the stuff that I’m teaching my clients about, you know, I’m human.
44:53
And once you go through some of this deep work, it’s not that you’re never going to experience a negative emotion again, or you’re never going to experience a challenge again.
45:02
Like sometimes the deeper work that you do, the more challenges that you experience because your capacity becomes bigger, right?
45:09
And so some of the things that I go through in my life are still like moments of, you know, imposter syndrome or having self doubt or fear of failure as I’m starting new things in my entrepreneurial journey, or I’m trying something that I’ve never tried before or putting myself out there in vulnerable ways.
45:26
And I would say the biggest difference for me at this stage of my life is that because I have these tools and resources to support me.
45:32
My recovery time is a lot quicker and I’m able to get to those higher perspectives a lot faster and really have this deeper knowing that everything is happening for me in my highest good.
45:43
Even if I go through some emotional outbursts or some, you know, anxious spirals, whatever it might be, you know, I can get myself grounded pretty quickly and get to that higher perspective so that I can keep moving myself forward.
45:55
And I think that’s always going to be a part of the journey.
45:57
And I’m always who sad.
46:00
I mean, I feel like that is just a part of our human experience and a part of our own personal evolutions, you know, like it’s so beautiful to hear that you’ve established these amazing businesses and then you’re also open to like, what else is there fair for me?
46:14
What else is more because I truly think by like going through these journeys, we find out a little bit more about ourselves.
46:20
We’re like, oh, I really like this.
46:22
Oh, I really don’t like that, you know, and, but we wouldn’t know unless we tried it.
46:26
But the muscle that you’re talking to, I think is so important to highlight of like the willingness to go over this over and again and continuing to have the tools continuing to lean into this work because like you said, you’re proactively recovering quicker Right.
46:40
You’re recalibrating quicker, you are realigning yourself expanding quicker.
46:44
And I think that little piece right there would make so many and makes most of very many of us very successful, successful at business, successful at life, successful in relationships because we have this tool.
46:57
It’s like I’m not going to change that life isn’t going to bring challenges, right?
47:01
I can’t say that life is going to be perfect the rest of my life.
47:03
Like no, with anything, things are going to come out of left field, they’re going to come out of the right field.
47:08
It’s our ability to adapt to it, which is what you are talking about is like, OK, how can I be with that?
47:14
Move through that and come on the other side and we just do that on repeat.
47:18
Yeah.
47:19
Yeah.
47:19
And that on repeat like celebrating when it comes up because you know that you’re meant for bigger things and it’s knowing that it’s always going to be a part of life.
47:28
And so when you learn to kind of embrace that and embody this just being a part of the human experience, you can just start to learn from it, right?
47:36
Instead of being the victim of it and asking why me or why am I going through this again or why this emotion again?
47:42
It’s like, hey, for what greater purpose, you know, and what are the bigger lessons I’m meant to learn in this lifetime?
47:48
You know, and how, how can I use this information or use this situation that I’m going to to help me grow and evolve?
47:56
Yeah, two more questions for you.
47:58
My last my one more question is going to be around the lines of like, what does it mean to you be fully expressed?
48:03
What does it feel like to live your life fully expressed in the way that you’re living it today?
48:08
I love this question for me.
48:10
I think to be fully expressed means to know yourself at the deepest level, right?
48:15
To be able to be willing to see yourself in the emotions, to show up for yourself.
48:20
When you’re, when you’re struggling, when you’re challenging and being willing to see that as a beautiful part of your journey.
48:27
And when you embrace those things, those deeper parts of you or shadow parts of you and know that it’s a part of your human experience and it can be a good thing to go through emotions and challenges that can allow you to express yourself even more fully because you’re not bypassing things, right?
48:45
You’re not, not just compartmentalized parts of you.
48:48
You accept all parts of you and you become this the fullest version of yourselves in your dining moments and in your darkest moments and when you embrace all parts of you, that’s when you can keep thriving and you can keep going and you learn to love yourself even more.
49:04
And so, you know, when you’re in that space and when you can accept the challenging times and you can accept the beautiful moments.
49:10
You know, then you can connect more to your deeper purpose and your passions and just be willing to show up to a life without this fear of feeling and just this ability to keep going and keep trying new things and experiencing new things, knowing that it may not all be perfect and it’s perfect for you in exactly the way that you’re experiencing, saying how can someone connect with you?
49:34
Fine to learn more about you?
49:37
Yes.
49:37
Yes, definitely.
49:39
You can find me on Instagram at Sara Ashley Coaching Sara without an h also at saraashleycoaching.com and also if you’re interested in therapy, I do have an amazing therapy group.
49:51
So that website is called www dot Sabi pathways.com SAB as in boy, I pathways.com and that’s for more of a holistic approach to therapy.
50:02
But I have an amazing program coming up in April.
50:05
It’s a 12 week group coaching and retreat experience for eye achieving female entrepreneurs who want to take their business to the next level and really start to remove some of these mental and emotional blocks that are unconsciously holding them back from reaching their full potential so that they can see who they truly are and start to shine even brighter in the world.
50:25
Just take their business to a whole new level, so good, so amazing, so important.
50:31
So thank you.
50:32
So much Sara for coming on the podcast.
50:34
I really appreciate it.
50:35
I felt like it was just so impactful, so important and like, we really, really definitely just highlighted what the journey really looks like and what the tools can be to support us on that way of like really living our life slow express.
50:46
So thank you so so much for being on here.
50:49
Yeah.
50:49
Thank you so much for having me and I feel like we could talk for hours about all of this stuff and yet this has been so fun and I just love it.
50:56
Amazing.
50:57
Thank you.
